Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Two Things

Item one – Conversation between me and the Hatchling this afternoon, as she’s running around with her superhero “cape” on (a big silk scarf she ties around her neck):

Hatchling: I superhewwo!

Me: You are a superhero.

Hatchling: Fwy weawwy fast.

Me: You sure are flying fast. Go, go, go!

Hatchling (stopping and looking right at me): I BATMAN.

Me: You’re Batman?!

Hatchling: Yeah, dat’s wight. I BATMAN!!!!

Her father is so proud.

Item Two – I’ve been scanning in some old family photos just so I have them digitally, and I came across this one of me and my parents circa 1972. I’m not normally at a loss for words, but … wow. Kind of explains a lot, doesn’t it?

Friday Video Blogging

TGIF, y’all. In honor of the weekend, here’s a little Hatchling video of a game she and her BFF invented Wednesday at playgroup. It’s SO TOTALLY HILARIOUS … if you’re almost three. But it’s pretty funny even if you’re older.


The Kissing Game from Squab on Vimeo.

Happy Valentine’s Day

I know it’s all chic and cool to hate on Valentine’s day, but fuck it: any holiday that includes nice flowers and the consumption of good chocolate is A-OK with me, fabricated or not. However, just because I like V-day doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor about it:

Don’t be a whore, kids! Enjoy that chocolate! (Thanks to Sally for the image.)

Just another literary evening in the Squab household

Should I be concerned that my almost-three-year-old chooses more heavyweight reading material than I do?

The Natural

Today we had our regular Wednesday playgroup with a group of moms and kids that we enjoy hanging out with. This week, for whatever reason, the Hatchling was the only girl for the first half of the group – it was just her and four other little boys. At this age, the whole gender thing doesn’t make much of a difference when they’re playing (thank goodness) but today all the little boys seemed to have spring fever or something and there was a lot of bickering and fighting going on. When we went into the dining room for snack time, there was only enough room at the little kid’s table for three; the three oldest boys took those seats, the baby sat with his mother, and the Hatchling chose to sit at the big table with the Mamas. It wasn’t long before a major quarrel erupted at the kids’ table (someone’s plate was touching someone else’s, if you can believe it) and the recriminations started to get a little deafening. The relevant moms wearily moved to intervene, but before any of them could reach the table, the Hatchling got down from her chair, went over to the boys and in a loud, authoritative voice said “HEY! Hey, guys! What’s goin’ on?” She put her hand on the back of one of the boys and started to babble something that we couldn’t totally understand, but was clearly intended to mediate between the squabblers. (It sounded kind of like “ashabba boogaba dashalso FOOD baggabagaa YOU PLAY.”) The boys sort of stopped, and the Hatchling calmly returned to her seat and resumed snacking. We parental units were having a fit of the giggles. She did it again when another fight broke out, and then sat back down at the table with a distinctly smug look on her face. I have never seen her do anything like that before, but I tell you what, she handled it like a pro. Her future sister is screwed.

Well, it *is* one of his favorite topics …

Yesterday the Hatchling was playing “phone” with the TV remote up to one ear and the telephone up to the other ear. The conversation was … interesting:

Hatchling: Oh, hi, Daddy! Yeah, yeah, ok-ok-ok. Vewwy good, vewwy good. Oh, I fine, I fiiiiiiiine, how YOU? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, Daddy. Oh? Oh, no. Ohhhhh, nooooo, pooooop. Dat’s gwoss, Daddy. Oh, yucky poops. Vewwy yucky poops, Daddy.

Me: Are you talking to Daddy about your poop?!?

Hatchling: Dat’s right, Mama! Vewwy good!

So, to sum up: potty training? No way, no how. Extended one-way imaginary conversations about excrement? Absolutely.

IT IS SO TRUE

Ha! Got this from my friend Alex. Had to share. Thanks for the home remedy suggestions! I will try them all.
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