Conversation had after a friend came over with her adorable 6 month old

ME: Hon, I’m feeling some pressure here. We know an awful lot of people with UNUSUALLY cute babies.* What if Hoss doesn’t measure up?

MR. SQUAB: (giving me a gentle hug) Oh, you don’t have to worry about that … because THERE’S NOOOO WAAAAAY our kid is going to be cute!

ME: What?!?!

MR. SQUAB: (prancing around the room making neanderthal noises and drooling in imitation of our future child)

ME: Pseudonymous H. Squab! YOU were a cute baby, and *I* was a cute baby. We ARE SO going to have a cute baby!!

MR. SQUAB: Well, what are you worried about, then?

*This is a simple fact. Maybe it’s something in the water, but most of the babies we know could easily work for Gerber.

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