• Inability to find a comfortable position in which to sleep/sit/eat/exist? Check.
  • General grumpiness? Check.
  • Constant fatigue, due to item 1 and contributing to item 2? Check.
  • Lower back and round ligament pain? Check.
  • Irritating emotional instability? Check.
  • Possibly irrational levels of anger at Mr. Squab’s place of employment for its no-leave-nohow-for-nobody policy? Check. Maybe. Except for the irrational part, because WTF?
  • Ever-lingering nausea? Check.
  • Ravenous hunger combined with total apathy towards any actual food? Check.
  • Increasing inability to engage in complex thought because this baby is SUCKING MY BRAIN CELLS? Double Checkity Check-Check.

I tell you what, if I read one more time about the damn second trimester “glow” or “energy surge” I am going to stage a public conniption fit.

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