I swear I’m sex-positive, but … eeeeew

When Mr. Squab and I first got together, I handled all of the household money management. I’d been doing it longer (I’m 6 years older than Mr. Squab – cradle robbers, HOLLA!), I had more complicated stuff to manage, and it just seemed easier for me to handle it for both of us. When we got married and moved to the cities, and Mr. Squab couldn’t find a job right away, and money was super tight, the job of managing funds got increasingly stressful. And since I’m a bit of a stressbasket anyway, we ended up transferring the job to Mr. Squab, since it stressed him out slightly less than it did me. This means I no longer pay much attention to what’s happening with our bank accounts – other than to make sure I’m not bouncing checks and stuff – which suits me just fine most of the time. But it also means that I don’t always take abberations in the accounts seriously enough.

To wit: for the last six or seven months, an odd monthly charge has been appearing on our account, noted as “Paycom.net” for $30 each month. Mr. Squab noticed the charge a while ago and we thought maybe it was from an online survey service I’d just cancelled or something like that. Only the charges kept showing up. Since the money was being drawn on my bankcard, Mr. Squab asked me to look into it and find out where the charges were coming from. And I meant to, I really did, only … I just kept not getting to it. You know: BECAUSE I’M AN IDIOT. Honestly, I have no excuse – I’m a world-class procrastinator, and I kept planning to do it tomorrow, you know? Anyhoo, I finally got around to calling the company today, at which point the friendly service rep informed me that the money was for a subscription to an “internet entertainment site.” Weird, I think. Like Entertainment Weekly or something? (Yes, I’m that stupid.) I ask about the details of the account, and sure enough, it’s in my name, with my old zip code, and an email address something like pnxyzzrkl@yahoo.com. Hello, red flag! “That’s not my email address,” I tell the rep, while a nebulous suspicion slowly forms in my meager brain. “Uh, what kind of entertainment site is this?” “Actually, it’s an adult entertainment site, ma’am” the rep responded. Right. Compose self. “Yeah, that’s sooooo not something I signed up for.”

The rep was very understanding (I’m guessing they get this kind of phone call pretty often), and they’re refunding all the money and putting a flag on the account so the next time someone tries to use it they’ll be traced and charged with a criminal offense. Thankfully, there haven’t been any other spurious charges showing up on the account. Nevertheless, I’ll be cancelling this card and getting a new one in short order. I mean, identity theft is gross enough, but identity theft for the purpose of porn subscriptions? ICKY.

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