I write letters

Dear Every-Creator-of-Plus-Sized-Clothing-Ever,

It’s my ASS that’s bigger, and possibly my tits. My arms continue to be normal human length. Please take note.

For chrissakes,


Dear Student,

Actually, “Because I have a lot of homework that has to get done” is NOT generally considered a valid excuse for leaving a 3-hour class 2 hours early. Particularly when you haven’t been exactly awesome about completing the homework for MY class. If you were expecting points for honesty, think again.

I mean really,


Dear Powerball,

If anyone else ignored me so repeatedly, despite all my best efforts, I would totally leave their asses in the dust. But I just can’t quit you, baby. Maybe next time you’ll gimme some of that sweet financial sugar I want so bad.



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