Daily Archives: October 16, 2006

The Secret Language of Sleep

Via Pip. Try it, it’s fun!

I am a seatbelt!
Seatbelt Traits and Tendencies: After a long night of The Seatbelt pose (and Seatbelts do sleep close to ten hours a night, quite a bit longer than the typical seven and a half), couples wake feeling warm, safe, and uniquely free of doubt. Regular doses of the pose can elevate Seatbelters to a new level of personal confidence, which buoys them to great heights in love and at the gym and can lead to plum promotions and camera time.

Comfort Zone: The Seatbelt pose is in the Sun Sleeper family. Related Sun poses to try: The Heimlich and Classic Spoons.

Health Note: For some couples (about one in every fifteen), extended periods of The Seatbelt’s patented “coziness” can lead to feelings of drugged complacency. If this happens to you, try switching to the Flying Bobs pose for as many nights as it takes to get the blood flowing again.

Find your own pose!

It all balances out in the end

How to Charm Me:
Sleep for 11.5 hours straight through the night. Oh, sweet sleep. Oh, good baby.

How to Irritate the Crap Out of Me:
Sleep an unprecedented 11.5 hours straight through the night, causing me to waken numerous times in absolute certainty that you had died in your sleep and we’d never get to try on all those cute toddler outfits we got, not to mention that I leaked QUARTS of breastmilk all over my pajamas, my side of the bed, and the cat. Oh, engorged boobs. Oh, painful ta-tas.