Monthly Archives: January 2008

This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

OK, look at the picture below and see which way the sexxxxy lady is spinning. Is she turning clockwise or counter-clockwise? According to this site, the way she’s turning depends on your brain dominance. If you’re right-brain dominant (like yours truly), you’ll tend to see her turning clockwise. All you left-brain dominant folks will tend to see her turning counter-clockwise. Ain’t that a kick in the head? When I first saw the picture I thought it was a hoax, and that there was no way it could be seen to turn different ways, but then I tried for a while to get it to turn the other way and IT DID. (Try looking at it peripherally for a while until it seems to have turned and then check it for yourself.) I dunno if the brain-dominance thing has anything to do with it, but it’s still fucking cool.

It’s not that I want to stifle her artistic impulses

Far from it. It’s just that I’d prefer she adopted a different medium:
Pollock, Jr.

Thank goodness for magic erasers and washable crayons, is what I say. Lawsy.

One for the grandparents

Apparently I did something wrong in a previous life, because we are still cold-ridden (though sleeping better, thank goddess), I think I’m coming down with something, and I have developed a gross, ugly sty in my right eye. WTF, karma?

So in lieu of a more substantive post, here’s a clip of the Hatchling showing off some of her new vocabulary. I should note that this was filmed completely “blind,” as the Hatchling will only let you tape her if she can watch the video monitor the whole time. So that’s why there are some focus problems. But it’s still pretty cute.

Snarky Squab PROM CHALLENGE

OK, readers. I’m about to inaugurate my first blog challenge. This challenge was initiated by this post from Eric with a C, who just happens to be the man who took yours truly to the senior prom. The year was 1989. The fashions were … truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous. Are you brave enough to look? ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO POST YOUR PROM PICS IN RETURN? The gauntlet has been thrown down, y’all.

Here’s me and my lovely escort (my dad was taking the pictures from crazy American Bandstand-style angles):
Junior Prom
Note the mullet. Note the tails (those were my request). Note the randomly bridal ensemble I chose to sport. Good times!

Here’s the whole group I went with:
Junior Prom party
The short one on the left is my youngest brother, who was standing in as my best girlfriend’s “date” since she was going stag. Questions to ponder: Why am I the only one not wearing royal blue? Why did I feel like I was totally fat in high school? (That might be a topic for another post.) Why are both my date and I making bunny teeth? (Click for the bigger version to see.) Why does anyone ever wear a white tux?

So there you have it. Me in all my high-school glory. Please link to your photos in comments. IF YOU DARE.

This is not a post.

It’s a statement that there will be no post, as the Hatchling, having JUST gotten over her intestinal crud, came down with a rapid-fire hacking chest cold last night, the result of which being that I think I maybe got one hour of sleep last night, but I’m too tired to remember exactly.

Hope your Monday was more rested than mine.

Sunday Poetry Blogging

First Snow
by Louise Glück

Like a child, the earth’s going to sleep,
or so the story goes.

But I’m not tired, it says.
And the mother says, You may not be tired but I’m tired –

You can see it in her face, everyone can.
So the snow has to fall, sleep has to come.
Because the mother’s sick to death of her life
and needs silence.

(I hasten to add that this is not a reflection of my current state of mind; I just like the poem.)

Review: Body Drama

As the product of a quasi-hippy household, I learned the “facts of life” at a ridiculously early age. I’m not sure how the conversation was initiated with my mother – probably it stemmed from her being pregnant with one of my siblings – but I do remember that my reaction was “gross.” I think my mom was *pretty* easy to talk to about body stuff, insofar as it can ever not be totally and completely embarrassing to talk to one’s mother about these things, but I’ll tell you what: I sure do wish this book had been around when I was going through puberty. Remember Our Bodies, Ourselves? (Yes, I am THAT. OLD.) Well, this is like that for the pre-teen to early twenties set. Only better, in some ways, because it specifically addresses some of the really tricky, stupid stuff that girls have to navigate now that they didn’t have to in earlier generations. (For example, the whole concept of “waxing” was pretty new in my high school years, and you can FORGET about crap like “Brazilians.” Nobody did that or even thought about it.) Body Drama: Real Girls, Real Bodies, Real Issues, Real Answers is written by Nancy Redd, a former Miss Virginia who went from a shapely, body-loving teen to a yo-yoing, body hating young adult, partly as a result of beauty pageants. Having graduated from Harvard with a Women’s Studies degree, she wanted to create a resource for young women to let them know that their bodies are “normal and OK.”

Needless to say, I love that goal and this book tackles it with gusto. It’s divided into five sections: Skin, Boobs, Down There, Hair/Mouth/Nails, and Shape. Each section is illustrated with photographs of real women, covering every kind of question and situation that a teen or pre-teen girl could be curious about and way too embarrassed to ask anyone about. Got back zits? There’s information for you. Stretch marks? Page 50. You can revel in 99 nicknames for boobs on page 75 (some of which I may start adopting myself, as soon as I can choose between “wonder twins,” “dumplings” and “quantum heaps”). The “down there” section includes about a dozen photos of real, live vulvas, which can be a slight shock if you’re not expecting it, but PRAISE THE GODS that they’re in there, along with instructions for how to look at your own, when to see a doctor for various conditions, and why you shouldn’t, for cripes sake, get plastic surgery on your cooter. (That’s my term, not the author’s. As if you had to ask.)

The “Shape” section, which is the one I was most interested to read, is a mixed bag. It does refer to the dreaded (and useless) BMI chart, and it does talk about dieting as an option for losing weight. But the emphasis in that section is definitely more on being active and healthy and loving your body first and foremost than it is on losing weight or fitting on the BMI chart. And, best of all, there’s a fabulous section of “before and after” shots that show exactly how the average fashion magazine image is created, and how false the “after” version is as a reflection of the “before.” The main part of the book ends with several different statements that every body is beautiful, illustrated with a variety of real, beautiful womens’ bodies. Finally, there’s a resources section with great information on different kinds of doctors, helpful sites for everything from body piercings to reporting physical abuse, and thorough notes and indexes.

The graphic photos and frank language around womens’ bodies will mean that some people won’t be comfortable reading this book or giving it to their daughters, granddaughters, nieces and sisters. And that’s too bad, because this is an area that can use all the frankness and reality it can get! I’d recommend this book to any young woman as a valuable resource, and it’s definitely something I’ll be glad to have around when my daughter gets older.

(This post is part of the MotherTalk blog tour.)

White Trash Parent Hacks

Here’s a little tip for you moms and dads out there. If you’ve just gone through the McDonald’s drive-through on your way back from running errands with a tired toddler who also has the runs, and the french fries are too hot to give them to said toddler, even though she’s saying “fwies, pwease!” as hard as she can, simply grab 2-3 of the hot little suckers, roll down the window and let them bask in the 20-degree Minnesota breezes until they’ve cooled down to the proper temperature. Works like a charm! Things you can worry about later include: 1) the crazy looks you’re getting from other drivers as you repeatedly thrust 2-3 fries out the top of your window, then pull them back inside the car; 2) the fact that your daughter knows the word “fwies” before she’s even two years old; 3) what those fries are going to do to her already fragile intestinal system.

Definitely not my most Martha Stewart moment.

Pretty much sums it up, yeah

Via my mom (thanks, Mom!)

Hill pulls it off

Hillary takes New Hampshire, sayeth just about everyone. I feel like it would have been a bigger deal for Clinton to lose this than for Obama to win it, so this just evens it out on the Dem side. Though it seems that Edwards is well and truly done. Which I’d feel pretty crappy about, except I’m still pissed at him for his sexist remarks about Clinton’s tearing up. (Why you gotta play me like that, John?)

It’s gonna be a wild ride, y’all.