Alles Klar

Operation Level II Ultrasound was a success. All limbs and appendages accounted for; no unecessary holes, and everything seems to be working a-ok. Hoss was officially dubbed “one active baby” by the perinatologist, and was highly uncooperative with the sonogram technician, because he/she preferred to stay balled up in what they apparently correctly term the “fetal position.” Hoss also likes to box his/her feet; has the flexibility of an experienced yogi; and enjoys hiccuping in his/her spare time. Most enjoyable. I must admit, even though we’ve had three ultrasounds before, it’s always kind of trippy to see this other living being inside your body. Mr. Squab was equally affected – when I looked over at one point and asked “how you doing, hon?” he mouthed back “this is fucked up” and summed the whole episode up afterwards as “CSI meets Fantastic Voyage,” which is as accurate a description as any.

Even more enjoyable was our interaction with the perinatologist, who came in at the end of the appointment to go over the results and review the work of the sonogram tech. We were waiting in the ultrasound room, me with my pants still unzipped and belly exposed in case the doc wanted to re-scan me (which he did), and suddenly in pops this small, stocky doctor with a shock of black hair and a thick southern accent. He shakes both of our hands and says “how ya doin’? I’m Dr. Bill Wagner, pleestameecha, pleestameecha – how tall are you?” I stuttered out, “uh, 5’4” and he bopped back out, saying “great, great, I’ll be right back!” Mr. Squab and I immediately got the giggles, which were not alleviated when the doctor came back and whipped us through the baby’s various parts. His two favorite phrases were “if you will” and “M’Kay,” as in “Now, here, if you will, is the baby’s heart, M’Kay?” He was super rapid and SUPER enthusiastic and we were a little breathless when he left, but highly amused. It was like being examined by Rod Roddy + Mr. Mackey / Bill Brasky. In other words, awesome.

But enough about us – I know you’re really here for the pictures! We got a bunch, but here are the three best ones (click each picture for a bigger version):

1. Here’s Hoss’ profile, looking to the right.

2. Here’s one of Hoss’ feet – if you kind of squint your eyes, you can see the toes and all.

3. Here’s the one we call “Yogi Hoss” – Hoss is lying on his/her back with one long leg stretched waaaay over his/her head.

So there you go!

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