Number of explosive, no really, I mean EXPLOSIVE, diapers changed today: 3.
Diapers changed, total: 6.
Close calls with toddler climbing up, behind, or around various parts of the house: 4.
Cheddar-flavored Sesame Street character-imprinted crackers strewn about the carpet: approx. twelvety billion.
Requests by two toddlers to be held/snuggled/paid attention to: constant.
At the same time: ditto.
Final Score: toddlers – 1,000,000; Squab – 0.