Join me for a little birthday rant, won’t you?

Today is my fortieth birthday, which is all momentous and milestoney and stuff, but what I REALLY want to talk about today is the thing that pisses me off most about 40th birthdays, which is not the aging, or the “over-the-hill” party hats, or the mid-life crisis, or the pure physical decrepitude. No. The thing that pisses me off most about 40th birthdays is how many people still think that this is the birthday where women stop telling people how old they are. Like, this isn’t my 40th birthday, it’s the second anniversary of my 39th birthday! Or, I’m not 40, I’m 18 with 22 years experience! HAHAHAHAHAHA no.

Look, I know that a lot of people in my age cohort who make these kinds of statements are doing it in a jokey way. Or maybe it’s a post-hipster-ironic way, or something, but whatever, I don’t care, I still hate it, because FOR REAL, it’s 2011 and I’m STILL supposed to be ASHAMED of my AGE????!! I mean, let’s be honest, even if most of the people I know are saying it as a joke, it’s a funny-because-it’s true kind of joke, only I’m not sure what’s so funny about a culture that still sends the message that at a certain age you are less valuable/desirable/beautiful/vital/important/loveable/cool/etc. And of course when I say “you” I really mean “women,” since it’s still OK for men to get older, it’s just us ladeez whose value apparently starts dripping out of our vaginas covered in XX chromosomes once we hit the big 4-0.

Ahem.

So anyway, everybody’s gotta do their own thing, I get it, and if feigning shame about your age (or actually being ashamed of your age) is what helps you get through the day, then … you do that. But personally, I have earned every goddamn one of these years, and I’m not going to shortchange myself by so much as a single month. I am FORTY, motherfuckers. Happy birthday to ME.

Forty!

7 responses to “Join me for a little birthday rant, won’t you?

  1. So I am saying happy birthday here because FB is telling me that your profile is “not available at the moment.” I can only assume that is because thousands of people are on your wall writing “Happy Birthday, Elise!”

  2. 1. Happy birthday!
    2. I like your attitude. There’s no reason to feel weird about crossing into another base 10 category. If humans had 12 fingers would the “scary” number be 36? Or 48?

  3. Sing it! I’m proud of my age too, and also it bemuses me–did I really get here so quickly? And, more to the point today, did YOU really get here so quickly? Hope it’s a very happy day, honey, all day long.

  4. Oh, value — so THAT’S what drips out of … never mind…

    Happy Birthday, forty hard-earned years of Elise!

  5. Awe. Some.

  6. Freaking awesome. Happy birthday!