Oh, Booty, Where Art Thou?

So, have I mentioned that I seem to be losing my butt? It’s true, and I’m not happy about it. I *love* my butt. I know that’s a slightly weird thing to say, but it’s true! It’s always been all sassy and round and pinchable. I mean, dude, “Baby Got Back” and “Fat Bottomed Girls” are, like, my anthems. But I’ve been noticing lately that the bigger my belly gets – and we’re reaching fairly epic proportions here – the smaller my patootie gets, correspondingly. The baby is sucking away my butt!! I recognize that for many women, this would be perceived as a real bonus, but I am not one of those women. I loves me my booty. Moreover, I have a phobia of having a flat, suburban “mom-ass.” You know the kind I’m talking about. So has this happened to anyone else? Are the effects lasting? I want my backside back!

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