Angry

Last night the House of Representatives passed comprehensive health care reform, and this morning the liberal interwebz are all a-twitter with happy, giddy, messages. We finally passed something! Yay for Obama! Yay for progressives! I get that response, and I really, really, REALLY wish it were my own. Because I am so glad that this legislation gives coverage to so many more people, and puts in place truly important reforms on the insurance industry, and safeguards the health of millions of children. I really am glad about that.

But I just can’t quite get to my happy place, because this important, historic legislation was made possible only by throwing reproductive choice under the proverbial bus. While the Stupak amendment didn’t make it into the bill, the Nelson compromise did, and that is bad, bad news for anyone who cares about reproductive rights. So while I would love to be doing happy dances of joy about passing health care reform, I find that what I really am is angry. I’m angry that Democratic legislators and presidents are so willing to cave on this issue, that it so easily becomes a bargaining chip. I’m angry at being made to feel a spoilsport for not being able to “look past” the choice issue to see the bigger picture. I’m angry that the choice issue isn’t a part of the bigger picture. I’m pissed that reproductive rights were compromised for something that falls far short of universal coverage. I’m really goddamn angry that Senators Nelson and Stupak think it’s any of their fucking business what I decide to do with my body. I’m unbelievably angry that this new legislation enshrines wealthy privilege by making it nearly impossible for any but the moneyed classes to get abortion coverage. But most of all, I’m angry that I don’t get to be joyful about this moment in history. I have great capacity for joy, y’all. I do. And I’m not trying to be sanctimonious about this – I know that many of you reading this share my discomfort with the restrictions on reproductive health, and are managing to be happy about this legislation anyway. And maybe as the days go by, I’ll get there, too. But this morning I’m just angry … and wishing I could look forward to a time when women’s bodies weren’t casualties in the battle for “greater” progressive gains.

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I know. I KNOW!! Here I was going to post more regularly and I haven’t been keeping up. AND I need to write up the Sprout’s one year letter before she turns TWO or something and … I know. I just keep not having a spare moment, or when I do, I’m using it to grab some sleep so I can survive the horrible colds both of my children have, the major symptoms of which are a hacking cough and a fiendish inability to sleep longer than three hours at a pop. But I swear I have some posts in the offing. Just as soon as I can get to them.

Lookit wot I did

Lookit. I made a sweater.

I’ve been knitting on and off (mostly off) since I was 12, and I think this is the first sweater I’ve actually completed all by myself. I adapted the pattern from one I got on Etsy.com. The yarn is some old acrylic Lion Brand worsted weight called “Monet’s Garden” that I bought because I lovelovelove the colors. It was supposed to be for the Sprout, but because I’m lazy and hate figuring out my gauge, it turned out about twice as large as I’d intended it to. Which made it perfect for the Hatchling:

Which is nice, because now they can both wear it. Next up: some projects for the two babies soon to be welcomed into the extended family. (Not mine! Good God, not mine. Two of my sisters are knocked up. :-))

Oscars 2010 liveblogging

OK, there are about to be a whole passle of people at my house for the awards viewing, but I have been requested to live blog the event, so I will do my best to share sporadic snarky thoughts with you as the evening progresses. Just know this: if Avatar wins Best Picture, I WILL CUT SOMEONE. Let’s enjoy! (New content will be at the top; scroll down for older stuff.)

Summary: Pretty boring ceremony overall, but some nice moments and LOVE that Avatar was limited to tech awards. I only predicted 13 categories correctly, an all-time low. Better luck next year.

10:57 – Are you shitting me right now? They played “I am woman, hear me roar” as Kathryn Bigelow exited. Gross.

10:55 – AWESOME. I hope this milestone is rapidly followed by a whole shitload of other female directors, producers, technicians, and all those other male-dominated categories. Woo!

10:50 – Is anyone else over Sean Penn? Please let Meryl win … pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseDAMMIT. OK. Sandra Bullock’s year. It’s cool. Well, now I’m just crying. Nice speech, lady.

10:35 – Yay! Jeff! The Dude abides!

10:25 – I’m sure these homages for the best actor/actress nominees are incredibly embarrassing for the performers, but I really like how they all get honored and recognized.

10:15 – Enough with the lamp backdrop!

10:10 – So how did they pick which stars were going to preview each of the Best Picture nominees? Because, Keanu Reeves? Really?

9:50 – I just … what the hell does the dancing mean? Why are they break dancing to the Hurt Locker score? Now they’re doing fucked up robotic mime shit for Up. WHAT IS GOING ON?

9:45 – OK,  I need something fun to start happening. Maybe a pie in someone’s face, some explosions … this dance sequence is NOT DOING IT FOR ME.

9:35 – Still not sure about Sandra Bullock’s dress, but her hair is bee-you-ti-ful. Whoa, dramatic entrance for Demi! Oh … it’s for the in memoriam section. Here’s where I discover all the people who died that I thought were already dead.

9:20 – Kristen Stewart is bringing out my inner cranky grandma again. For Christ’s sake, LOOK HAPPY. Or at least DON’T LOOK BORED. I have no patience with that disaffected youth crap. GET OFFA MY LAWN!

9:12 – Honestly. Charlize. No one with your genetic gifts should have CRAZY SATIN TUMOR ROSES on her boobs. Why?

9:10 – Look, I just really need James Cameron’s wife to eat a sandwich, OK?

8:58 – Well, this one (supporting actress) isn’t even a contest. But, wow, what a strong category this year. Love the flowers in Mo’nique’s hair.

8:50 – Dammit, I’m only five out of nine for picking the winners. This having kids thing is WRECKING my pop culture cred.

8:40 – Oh, Ben Stiller. You’re allllllllmost pulling this off.

8:32 – Can we just have cute Frenchmen accept all the awards? I applause you, monsieur.

8:30 – My mom: “Why is Carey Mulligan wearing chandeliers on her ears?” Nobody knows, Ma. Nobody knows.

8:25 – Um, is Judd Nelson dying of some wasting disease? Dude looks ROUGH.

8:15 – Tina Fey and Robert Downey, Jr. need to do a project together. They’re both funny as hell, and also I would sleep with either one of them. TMI?

8:02 – Seriously. Who likes Miley Cyrus? Anyone? Bueller? I would say that I was SO OVER her, except I never was under her in the first place. Wait … that sounds wrong. She’s making my inner crabby grandma come out. STAND UP STRAIGHT, YOUNG LADY.

7:55 – That was an awesome Jimmy Kimmel commercial.

7:50 – OK, I loved the opening. Way to Busby Berkeley it up! And Christoph Waltz, whose win I TOTALLY CALLED, is adorable.

7:05 – GEORGE. You are letting us DOWN. You’re our generation’s Cary Grant! Cary Grant does not wear a freaking MULLET. What the what?

7:01 – Hi, Sherry Shepard. Perhaps you should invest in some more supportive undergarments.

6:40 – Gabourey Sidibe, I frickin’ LOVE you. You look gorgeous, and I love how much you’re enjoying this whole thing. OMG. “If fashion is porn, this dress is the money shot!” LOVE.

6:15 – WHAT IN THE HELL IS SARAH JESSICA PARKER WEARING? Really? You can’t get your dress to actually fit you in back? Also, here’s a tip: ideally, your hairdo should not be bigger than your actual HEAD. Unless you’re, say Marie Antoinette. And we all know what happened to her. Just sayin’.

The Man I Love

Mr. Squab spent some quality time with the Hatchling this morning playing with her various and sundry stuffed animals and babies. The Hatchling is still at that sweet stage where all her play is about how much her animals love each other, and most of her time is spent posing them in hugs and snuggles, and making them give each other professions of undying friendship and bonds of eternal brother- or sisterhood. Which Mr. Squab totally went along with, except a) he made all her animals sound like Ron Burgundy, and b) when he was “talking” to the other animals, he gave all the dialogue a lewd undertone that was too subtle to be picked up by the three-year-old but just about made me pee my pants laughing. Sample:

Hatchling (as stuffed frog): Gimme a hug, bear.

Mr. Squab (as Ron Burgundy bear): Ooh, yeah! I looooove hugs. I never had me a REPTILE* before. (Makes bear do writhy dance.)

Hatchling (innocently): Oh, nice hugs!

Mr. Squab: Hey, Sheep, want a BEAR HUG???

Me (prostrate with laughter): Oh, god, that is so inappropriate on SO MANY LEVELS.

*Yes, apparently Mr. Squab thinks that frogs are reptiles. He’s a graphic designer, people, not a biologist!

Wednesday Video Upper

I have no idea why I’m laughing like Fran Drescher in this clip. Also, please note: the Sprout put the blanket over her own head to begin with. Peekaboo is her favorite game.

Tuesday Recipe Blogging

Because it’s Tuesday which is my Monday and I am B.U.S.Y:

Easiest Ever Crockpot Chicken Chili

Get out the crockpot. Throw in:

  • 2 large frozen skinless boneless chicken breasts
  • 1 jar salsa
  • 1 can corn, undrained
  • 1 can beans, undrained (any kind – we use kidney or black, mostly)
  • 1 can diced tomatoes, undrained
  • 1 chicken bouillon cube
  • 1 Tbsp chili powder

Set the crockpot on low and let it cook for at least 4 and up to 8 hours. Around the 4 hour mark, or when you get home, or right before you serve it, take the chicken breasts out of the pot with some tongs and use two forks to shred each breast. Put the shredded chicken back into the crock pot and let it cook until you’re ready to eat it. Serve with shredded cheese and sour cream. We like it with corn chips or corn muffins on the side. VEGETARIAN OPTION: leave out the chicken (obvs.) and replace the chicken bouillon cube with a veggie one. Add a package of frozen veggie burger-style crumbles. Or this might be good with that Quorn chicken replacer, but I’ve never tried it in a recipe like this, so I dunno.

Buon Appetito!

Quandary

I realized the other day that the Hatchling’s awareness of standard fairy-tale tropes comes almost exclusively from the Shrek movies. Which, given the philosophical problems that I, as a post-millennial over-educated white feminist have with said tropes, is A-OK with me. Princess in need of rescuing? Fiona is a black belt in karate and does quite a bit of rescuing herself. Prince Charming? The Shrek version is a handsome, cultured, self-involved prat. All the Shrek movies nicely skewer the traditional folktales we grew up with, and if the humor is often sophomoric, well, certain members of our household consider that a bonus. Of course, I also grew up on and LOVE the traditional versions, philosophical problems notwithstanding. Which is all by way of saying: we watched Snow White* for the first time this week, and you know the scene where she cleans the dwarves’ cottage? You know, before they come home, so maybe they’ll let her stay? Because nothing makes this young girl happier than cooking and cleaning for a bunch of slovenly old men? Yeah … uh … so the Hatchling cleaned the entire living room during that scene. Like, picked up all her toys and put them away, picked up all the Sprout’s toys and put them away, and brought all the dirty dishes into the kitchen, all while singing a little song and doing a little dance. Just like Snow White.

FEMINIST QUANDARY, Y’ALL. I mean, fuck: the living room looked really nice!

*Which, can I just have a history geek-out moment here, because HOW COOL IS IT that I, in 2010, can sit on the sofa and watch the VERY FIRST EVER animated feature-length film with my daughters? I mean, that is cool! Sure, it looks dated, and yeah, the plot is totally dumbed down, but STILL. It was the very first of its kind, and I have it right in my living room. I dig that.

Kids Are Weird, Thursday edition

Recurring conversations we have had in our house of late:

During lunch (dinner, snack, breakfast, etc.) …

Hatchling: [BURP] Oh! Excuuse me! Tee hee! (She actually says “tee hee.” And covers her mouth coyly with her fingertips. My eyes could not roll any harder.) Mama, I said ‘excuse me!’

Me: Good job, honey.

Hatchling: [BUUURP] Oh! Excuuse me! Tee hee!

Me: (warningly) Honey …

Hatchling: (trying really hard to push another one out) [BEHHHP] OH! EXCUUUUSE ME! TEE HEE!

Me: Look, let’s not try to burp, ok?

Hatchling: But I say ‘excuse me,’ Mama! I have big burps!

Me: Yeah, it’s good to say excuse me, but don’t make yourself burp, ok? Just, uh, let them come out naturally. (Because that’s a phrase a three-year-old will get. Definitely.)

Hatchling: Okay, okay, OKAY, Mama. (Brief pause. Takes large, airy gulp of beverage.) [BUURRRPP] Oh! Excuuuse me! Tee hee! That was a big one, Mama!

Me: (slowly bangs head against table)

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Before nap or bedtime …

Me: do you want to wear your socks to bed?

Hatchling: One sock. (sticks out foot)

Me:

Hatchling: Take-a off, Mama.

Me: You just want one sock off?

Hatchling: Yes. Take-a off DIS one.

Me: (takes off sock) Really?

Hatchling: Yes. There. ALL better.

Percussive Guitar: Yes, Please

One of the cool things about teaching at a contemporary music school is that your students introduce you to a lot of awesome new (to you) artists. Last semester one of my students gave a percussive guitar performance for his final project and I was really blown away by both the sound and the style. He recommended a couple of artists as masters of the style, and boy, are they ever. I would love to be able to play like this. But instead I have kids. Anyway, check them out if you haven’t heard them before, and enjoy the gooditude.