Parenting Trials

So, last week? The week I basically didn’t post anything? Was a really, really rough week, parenting-wise. I don’t know what it is about almost-20-months old, but lately everything is a mommy vs. Hatchling battle, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell regular readers who’s winning. One low point was when I accidentally engineered it so the Hatchling walked face-first into the bookshelf in her bedroom. I was putting her down for a nap, the room was already dark, and I asked her to close the door and come over to me in the rocking chair. Across the room. In the dark. Real smart, no? We’ve done it before with no harm, but Fate wasn’t letting us off that easy again. She misdirected and walked past me into the bookcase. I heard the thump, followed by the howl of pain, grabbed her and rocked and comforted her, and once she’d calmed down I put her down for her nap. When she woke up and I finally saw her with the light on, she had a huge (ok, not that huge, but freakishly large to my guilt-addled mind), oozing, bloody sore on her little button nose. Arrrgh. BAD MOMMY.

But what’s been worse is that, for whatever reason, she was just having a tough week. Not sleeping well, not eating very well, and holy short fuse, batman. If I had a nickel for every meltdown in the last 7 days … okay, I’d have like $1.50, but that’s a lot of meltdowns! And these aren’t your standard, run-of-the-mill tired or hungry or whatever meltdowns. They’re meltdowns with no discernible cause, or with such a minor discernible cause that you think it CAN’T be THAT. I mean, really? You’re going to pitch a fit because you dropped your baby-doll? It’s right there! Just pick it up again! OK, I’ll pick it up again. Jesus, just calm down!! And so forth. While I consider myself a fairly patient person, I’m finding that I do not cope well with tantrums of this sort. I’ve been getting irritated and impatient, and then snappish and generally unpleasant. With a one-year-old, for chrissakes. I mean, she’s ONE. She’s going to have unreasonable tantrums. I knew this going in. Why am I letting it get under my skin? BAD MOMMY.

Part of the reason, I expect, is that I’ve been having some sleep issues again, and sleeplessness tends to deplete one’s reserves of calm for dealing with cranky toddlers. Either I’ve been up too late reading, or when I go to bed on time I have restless, nightmare-ridden sleep. Super fun! So we’re going to throw some pills at that particular problem tonight (not prescription pills, though – did I mention that Mr. Squab’s new insurance doesn’t kick in until next week?) and see if we can adjust our mental attitude this week. Wish me luck.

On the plus side, I actually mailed out almost all of my Christmas cards today. So there’s that, which is nice.

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