The difference between one and two

How one toddler indicates she is ready for her afternoon nap:

Toddler: Man, I am tired. My eyes feel kind of itchy. I better rub them. Also, I hate all these toys. I will push them away from me, they are so stupid. God, I feel like crap. Maybe if I bury my head in Mama’s lap and whimper she can fix it.

Mama: OK, someone’s ready for naps. Should we fix you a bottle? Let’s go.

Bottle is made. Nap ensues. All is well.

How two toddlers indicate that they are ready for their afternoon naps:

Toddler 1: Man, I am tired. I can’t even take these toys anymore. I’m just going to sit here and cry until I feel better.

Toddler 2: OK, I was already getting sort of sleepy, and that other kid’s racket is NOT helping. She was fine when we were playing and stuff but now she’s just getting on my last nerve. I’m going to start crying, too, and see if that helps.

Toddler 1: Dude, if YOU start crying that just makes me want to cry harder! This is not helping! I need some cuddles!

Mama: OK, honey, let’s pick you up. You’re OK, you’re just tired. You’re OK.

Toddler 2: What the hell? Now she’s crying louder! That makes ME cry louder! And Harder! MAMAAAA!

Mama: Oh, my goodness, two sad girls! Come on, one on one side and one on the other, let’s rock a little bit. You’re OK, it’s OK, calm down, calm down …

Toddler 1: All this noise is seriously freaking me out! Make it stop!

Toddler 2: OMG I cannot take this! I have snot all over my face and I think I might throw up I’m crying so hard! Make it stop!!

Mama: OK, let’s try this: here, Toddler 1, you have your nuk. (Crying of Toddler 1 instantly stops.) Toddler 2, let’s go make a bottle. Everyone is going to be OK. (Toddler 2 slowly calms down.)

Bottle is made, Toddler 2 goes down. Toddler 1 is rocked until her eyes close and then she is put down. Naps ensue. All is well.

So, you know. Just a SLIGHT difference.

(But really, we’re having a blast. This was just a minor eruption.)

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