Well, I SPECTACULARLY failed my gestational diabetes test this morning. How spectacularly, you ask? Well, let me put it this way: there are normally two tests for GD. You take the first, shorter one, and if you fail that then you have to take the longer, four hour one so they can really make sure. But me? I did so amazingly poorly on the first test that they aren’t even making me TAKE the second one. The lab tech was all, yeah, we’re just going call this one now and start treating you because this is ridiculous. Yo: when the LAB TECH thinks it’s ridiculous, that is some serious shit. You gotta give me credit. I do things with panache.

On the upside, Mr. Squab and the Hatchling have developed a new game, where she stands there and Mr. Squab gives her rotating commands of either “kick,” “jump,” “punch,” or “spin.” It’s like Toddler Bop-it, and it is truly hilarious to watch.

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