Monthly Archives: October 2007

You can’t make this shit up

So I’ve mentioned in the past how we live in a somewhat … borderline … neighborhood, right? Everyone on our block (that we’ve met) is really nice, but we’re not far from those meighborhoods that consistently figure in evening news reports for burglary, gunshot wounds, etc. In our optimistic moods, we think of our ‘hood as “up and coming.” And in truth, with the exception of the shooting right outside our house a year and a half ago and the flophouse/dope-den on the next block (that got shut down about a year ago), most of the stuff we deal with is pretty minor. People doing drug deals in cars outside our house; kids egging my stepdad’s BMW; Loud parties spilling into the street. We call the cops; they don’t come until too late; we go to bed. But tonight we had a new experience: drive-by plating. You heard me. We were in the living room multi-tasking (i.e. surfing the web while watching TV) when we heard – and felt – a loud crash like glass breaking. There’s been a spate of burglaries in this area recently, so my first thought was “christ, someone just broke one of our basement windows,” and my second thought was “fuck, I bet someone just broke into my car.” But no; Mr. Squab went outside and all he could find was some broken ceramic pieces on the side of the house. Our backyard neighbor was out looking around, too, and there were similar shards all down his sidewalk. “This isn’t the weirdest thing I’ve seen in this neighborhood,” he said (he’s lived here 10 years). “It’s a new one on us,” replied Mr. Squab. So we came back in, called the cops, and chalked up another weird moment to urban living.

Drive-by plating. WTF?

You are not even PREPARED for the cuteness

The Hatchling, Mr. Squab and I went to Como Park’s ZooBoo on Sunday with some friends, thanks to some free tix from Questionable. (Thanks, Q!) There were hordes of becostumed children, dressed as everything you can imagine: fairies and princesses, animals of all descriptions, superheroes, Star Wars folk, dinosaur-kids and shark-babies galore. You will be pleased, but of course not surprised, to know that the Hatchling and her BFF Fi were hands down the cutest ones there. We trick-or-treated all through the zoo and got to meet lots of characters stationed at different points. Some of the characters were a little scary for the littler kids … and of course these were the ones the Hatchling gravitated to. The huge orangutan in the crazy jack-o-lantern shirt? She wanted to talk to him forever. The incredibly freaky (and well done) Darth Maul? She just loooooved him, giving him lots of grins and a high five. (Which he was tentative about even offering, since I think most of the kids that had passed him had freaked right out.) So … I guess she’s a theatre kid? Anyway, here are some of the pix. (**Warning: Managment cannot be held responsible for possible comas or cute overloads resulting from the viewing of these photos. Scroll down at your own risk.**)

The costume shot (while waiting for the shuttle to the zoo):
Waiting for the shuttle

Meeting the “Orangutan”:
Meeting the Orangutan

The other cutest baby there:
Pretty Fiona

Taking a little break from the crowds:
Taking a little break

Playing extremely cute peekaboo:
Baby bug

Too good not to share

We think the Hatchling may, finally, be hitting her verbal stage. For the longest time she’s had the same few words (kitty, hi, no, dada, ok, yeah) and relied on her (surprisingly effective) baby babble for everthing else. But then on Sunday she spontaneously came out with two very clear new words, each with an attendant gesture. The first one is “Bye” which she says while waving. Only she says it more like “BY-eeee,” all long and drawn out and hilarious. All Sunday morning she was telling us “bye” and walking out of the room, only to come back in with a grin and do it all over again.

The second word she added to her vocab was “tickle,” which she does, not surprisingly, while tickling you. She started this out of the blue while we were out with her best friend Fi, and at first we thought it was just an anomaly, but no – first she tickled Fi and then she tickled the rest of us. She goes “ticka-ticka-ticka” while she scrunches her fingers on you and looks mischievous. It’s pretty awesome, I tell you what.

So anyway, on Sunday night, Mr. Squab is putting the Hatchling to bed, as per usual, and over the monitor I hear the usual sounds, followed by a second of baby-wailing, followed by a good two minutes of mega-giggles. The giggles subsided and Mr. Squab came downstairs. “Man,” he said, “I just had a total Daddy meltdown up there.”

“What happened?” I asked.

Turns out, after Mr. Squab had finished rocking the Hatchling and was going to put her in her crib, she started pitching a fit, and locked her arms around his neck like her crib was a bed of red hot coals or something. This is unusual, so Mr. Squab pulled her back out and asked her if she wanted to rock some more. She said yeah and he sat back down with her, her arms still around his neck and her head nestled in in his shoulder. For a few moments they just rocked in silence, enjoying the snuggle time. Then Mr. Squab felt the Hatchling’s hand move up towards his neck. “Ticka-ticka-ticka,” she whispered, and then giggled. Mr. Squab happens to actually be ticklish on his neck, so he started giggling, too, which of course made her “ticka” him some more. After a minute or two, Mr. Squab asked the Hatchling if she was ready to go to bed now. “OK,” she said, so he laid her in her crib and she went down without a peep.

“Wow. That’s the good stuff,” I told him.

“Yeah,” he said. “It doesn’t get any better than that.”

Close Encounters

It was about 11:30 at night. I’d just gotten done babysitting for some close friends so they could finally have a real date away from their 16-month-old daughter. The night had gone well – the baby was in a fun mood and went to bed with nary a peep – but I was still feeling kind of wired as I got into my car. I was also a little peckish, as I’d had an early dinner. I’ll just hit the 24-hour McDonald’s in Uptown, I thought. Get a cheeseburger and a shake and eat it on the way home, give myself some time to wind down. OK, yes, it’s a little gross to eat fast food at that hour unless you’re a college student pulling an all-nighter, but it sounded good. And in fact it was even better than I’d expected. Something about the distinctive blend of cheap beef, white bread, plastic cheese and warm pickle took me back to other late nights: coming off a bender at a grad-school conference; satisfying a “Big Mac attack” during exam week; making a last-minute run to the hometown Mickey D’s and getting back after curfew. This being the weekend before Halloween, Uptown was hopping with costumed people in various stages of inebriation. Safe in the confines of my car, I enjoyed the parade of firemen, cowgirls, be-boppers, mermaids, and even a pair of women dressed as large breasts. The night took on an almost dreamlike quality, with the streetlights casting their surreal glow on a motley assemblage of fantastical creatures. I decided to take Lake Street over to the east side of town, where I live. It takes longer than my usual route, but I was in the mood to stay in the city lights and soak up the late-night goings on.

I can’t remember exactly which intersection I was at when it happened. I think I had crossed over to the east side, but maybe not. What I do remember is this: I had stopped at a red light, and I was the third (and last) car in the right lane. There was a white compact car in front of me with two people, a man and a woman, in the front seat. On the sidewalk to our right a man was walking. He wasn’t that distinctive looking: average height, heavyset, dark hair and a beard, wearing what looked like hospital scrubs with a light stain down the front. He moved towards the car in front of me as if to get in the back seat. Odd spot for a pick-up, I thought, but whatever. And then I thought, Maybe it’s a drug deal. He lifted up the handle of the rear passenger door and it was locked. He stepped back from the car as if to give the driver time to unlock the doors; only then did I notice that the people in the car were looking back at the man as if he were crazy, gesturing at him to move away, back off. The man stepped forward again to try the front door, this time, and the car pulled forward and over to the left in an attempt to shake him off. Giving up, the man turned in my direction and started heading towards my passenger side.

I’m not sure at what point I locked my car doors – it was sometime before the man turned towards me but after I realized that he was not just getting a ride with the car in front of me. I don’t usually ride with all the doors locked, so it took me a few seconds to find the master switch in the darkened car. I locked it, and watched the man approach. I remember thinking, I hope the doors really are locked, I hope I clicked the switch in the right direction. But I didn’t feel as though I had the time or ability to check to make sure. I also remember that the man’s face had almost no expression as he walked towards me. He didn’t look angry, or crazy, or sad or desperate. Hopeless, maybe. A little wary. I thought, maybe he’ll just pass my car by, but I knew that he really wouldn’t. He walked right up to my passenger door and jiggled the handle, looking me in the eyes as he did so, still expressionless, saying nothing. When he could tell that the car was locked, he gave up and continued down the street, headed who knows where.

The whole encounter took less time than it takes traffic lights to change. Ten seconds? Fifteen? Not even enough time for me to be properly scared of the possibilities, though looking back I can see that it was scary. I wonder what would have happened if the doors hadn’t been locked. What did the man want? Would he have asked for money? Or for a ride somewhere? Tried to steal the car? Used violence? The light turned green and I drove towards home, sucking down my shake and thinking about what had just happened. Most of the time, due to the accident of an upper-middle-class birth, I am able to travel through the world on a cushion of socioeconomic privilege, rarely brushing up against the harsher realities of urban life. I extol the virtues of living in the city: coffee shops within walking distance, art-house movies, family-owned businesses, people of different ethnicities and lifestyles living together in peace. Cue the John Lennon soundtrack, please. I don’t know what that man wanted, and I’m just as glad I wasn’t forced to find out. I suspect I’ll be more inclined from now on to lock my car doors on late-night travels through the city, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. But the man’s face will stay with me for a while. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing now and again to have a close encounter with how the other half lives.

Things that just kill me

In a bad way: taking the Hatchling to the Dr.’s office for her 18 month checkup and watching her struggle, so hard, to keep it together during the appointment. And then when she got too scared and broke down, watching her try so hard to get her brave face back. It just KILLS me.

In a good way: Mr. Squab bringing home a beautiful bouquet of roses and lilies for me after I was a total bitch to him on the phone about how much I hate having to take the Hatchling to her checkups. The flowers smell really good. JUST LIKE MY LOVE FOR MR. SQUAB.

Here’s how it is

Every parent has stuff they bitch about when it comes to their particular child-raising situation. Maybe your kid only eats white foods, or refuses to take baths, or only likes death-metal lullabies. The kids, they’re quirky, and they’re all pre-loaded with sucky habits for parents to fixate on. At the same time, though, most of us are lucky enough to have at least a few things that our kids are really good about. Things we can’t bitch about, or other parents will kill us. Like, maybe your kid knew how to nurse like a champ right from the womb. Or maybe you were in labor for only three hours. Or your kid learned how to read at the tender age of three. For us, at least since the Hatchling has been about 6 months old, the good thing has been sleep. From birth to 6 months, don’t even get me started, because OY. But since around the 6 month mark, she’s pretty much been a champion sleeper. 11-12 hours every night, 2-3 good solid naps during the day, everybody relatively well-rested as a result. Sure, she might have a rough night here and there when she’s sick or sleeping in a strange place, but she’s good about 95% of the time. I realize how lucky we are in this regard. I know several parents who would give critical body parts to science if their kids would sleep as well as the Hatchling does on a regular basis. And I’m not smug about it – we just got lucky in the parenting lottery on this one, and the most we can take credit for is facilitating the sleep by, you know, changing the crib sheets occasionally and making sure the heat is on in the winter.

So I get that I don’t really have any leeway to bitch about this, but I gotta say: it’s been a little rough the past couple of weeks. Last week it was clearly illness-related: a double ear infection on top of croup would make it tough for anyone to sleep well. But the ear-infection is supposed to be gone now, and the croup is definitely over, and yet the Hatchling still woke up 3-4 times last night, two of which were bad enough that we had to get up with her and calm her down and put her back to bed. Like, at 2:30 in the morning. And then again at 5:00. And again, I know there are lots of parents for whom this is a fairly normal occurence, and to these parents I say: you are better people than I am. Because a few nights like this after close to a YEAR of good sleeping and I am getting pretty strung out. Is it her molars? The legendary 18-month sleep regression? Pure cussedness? I don’t know, but I sure am glad we’re going to the doctor this week because, let’s be honest here, I am a total pussy when it comes to sleep. And I NEED SOME.

Friday Video Blogging

How did it get to be Friday already? We just got back from a trip up north to visit Mr. Squab’s mother. Just a quick overnight visit – which was about all we could have managed, given that the Hatchling, she no sleepy so good. Which mean nobody sleepy so good. The culprit? Two-year molars. Because, you know, those are the only teeth she hasn’t already got. But I digest. You need your videos!! This week, we’re going moogalicious.

Striped Balls Meet Polka-Dotted Ball
Awesome moog soundtrack. Plus: how rad is it that you can totally teach a lesson about embracing difference with just BALLS?

Orange Sings Carmen
Moog + Bizet / Citrus = groovetastic. It took the Hatchling a little while to get into this one, but now she’s fascinated. As will you be.

This is why I love the internets

This photoset* is amazing. If you’ve ever had body image issues (so: if you’re alive) and most especially if you’ve ever been suspicious about those fucking BMI categories and even MORE especially if you haven’t been suspicious of them, you need to check this out.* (via Bitch, from whom I steal all my best stuff.)

*Note: if you view it as a slideshow, be sure to click the “i” in the center of the first photo so you can see the titles and captions.

Oh: and also – Read this, too.

Um, What? It’s Tuesday already?

Whew, this week is going fast. Not that we’ve been doing anything particularly exciting, mind you. But Mr. Squab is home this week, burning up some of his crazy backlog of vacation days, and that does make the time fly by a little faster. I don’t seem to have anything blogworthy to share, but here’s some other random shit I’ve come across in the past few days:

Beckett for Babies – this is GENIUS. I would so buy this boardbook. As the author says, “If it is never too early to read to your baby, it is never too early to prepare her for graduate school.”

Did you know Sesame Street is now doing free video podcasts? They’re each about 5 minutes long, the perfect length for distracting your toddler from whatever havoc she’s currently wreaking over there in the corner. No, the other corner. Behind you. With the cat.

Halloween is coming! We’re not crazy into it in this household, but we’ll take any excuse to dress the kid up in a cute costume. The Hatchling will be going as a ladybug this year. Kind of like this costume, only cuter and cheaper. Don’t worry, there will be pictures. Way too many pictures.

This just in: Home Depot = condescending sexist motherfuckers. See the Bitch for the details.

Friday Video Blogging

Jelly Man Kelly
This is the Hatchling’s current favorite YouTube video, and I can see why. I mean, James Taylor is always a good choice, and the crazy enthusiasm of the kids as they join in is pure TV gold.

A Loaf of Bread …
If you were born in the 70s, chances are this one is embedded somewhere deep in your reptilian brain. I have to say, the animation looks much weirder as an adult than it did as a kid – but in a very cool way. Who knew I was so avant-garde in my tastes at such a young age?