via Shakesville.
Someday, when my children are teenagers and start wondering aloud why I’m so weird all the time, I will show them this video. Because, frankly, once you’ve seen a musical version of Star Wars starring Donnie and Marie with cameos by Redd Foxx as Obi-Wan, Kris Kristofferson as Han Solo, Paul Lynde(!) as Grand Moff Tarkin, the actual Chewie, C-3PO and R2-D2, and a chorus line of Storm-Troopers and their Fem-Bot counter parts, you understand a helluva lot more about growing up in the late 70s. Srsly. So grab a Fanta, plop down in your beanbag chair, and enjoy ten minutes of jaw-dropping vintage weirdness. Because when *I* was a kid, *this* was prime-time television. (thanks to cwethern for the link!)
Comments Off on Sweet Tap-Dancing Jesus, this is awesome
Posted in Funny Stuff, Pop Culture
Tagged video
The house is a mess, they’re doing road work so the water is turned off all day, the kids are extra cranky, it’s like a sauna outside, and all I really wanna do is take a long nap in my air-conditioned bedroom.
Oh, plus I wanna move to France. Via Kevin Drum:
Matt Yglesias translates some questions from Le Bac, France’s college admission test/high school leaving exam. These are from the philosophy test:
— Does objectivity in history presuppose the impartiality of the historian?
— Does language betray thought?
— Explicate an excerpt from Schopenhauer’s The World as Will and Representation
— Are there questions that are un-answerable by science?
I mean, I know I’m an elitist liberal pinko commie treehugger, and I know comparisons are odious and all, but honestly: can you IMAGINE such questions on any kind of high school test in the US? ‘Cause I sure can’t.
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Posted in Academe, non-pop culture
It’s not like things haven’t been happening. The Sprout turned 3 months old, the Hatchling is coming up with new catchphrases and other awesomeness all the time, Mr. Squab and I celebrated our 7th anniversary, I finished rereading the entire Harry Potter series – I mean, the days are filled. Just not so much with the blogging. However, I know I need to post a 3 month letter for the Sprout, and we also have some lovely videos in the hopper, so, um … stay tuned!! Look! Cute pictures!
Comments Off on Apparently my life is currently incompatible with blogging
Posted in blog blogging, updates
Tagged baby pix
So far today, the Hatchling has:
1. Pushed one of her friends at playgroup;
2. Thrown sand in the face of another friend;
3. Pitched fits about various trivial things;
4. Peed through her pull-up and all over Mr. Squab’s recliner (the fourth such incident in two days).
I think the age of three is trying to kill me, y’all.
Me: OK, now, remember, the Sprout has to ride in the cart so you get to walk and help Mama with the groceries. You have to stay with Mama, OK? NO running away, right?
Hatchling: OK, Mama. I helpa get gwocewies.
Me: Right. You help.
Sprout: A-bah.
Me: OK, let’s see what we need for fruit … do you want some bananas? (She’s only been asking for them 10 times a day since we ran out.)
Hatchling: Ummmm … no fanks. Oh, WOOK! Tomayoes!
Me: (grabbing bananas, distracted) Uh-huh, that’s right – ok, put it back, Boo. Put it back on the pile.
The Hatchling puts the tomato back on the top of the heap, and it rolls down and falls on the floor.
Hatchling: Uh-oh.
Me: That’s ok … (surreptitiously places it back on the pile) … Now don’t touch anything, OK? Just look. No touch.
Hatchling: Wookit, Mama! Apple! (She holds out a pomegranate.)
Me: No, that’s a … never mind. Put it back. No touching, right? Just LOOK.
Sprout: MAH!
Hatchling: OK, Mama. I get-a bwoccoli. I be riiiiight back.
Me: Honey, don’t – you really want broccoli, huh? Well, I guess that’s a good thing to want. OK. Look, don’t touch all of the – just bring me that one. THAT ONE. (The Hatchling walks towards me with a clump of dripping wet broccoli.) Good, good job. Here, I’ll take it.
Hatchling: NO! I PUTTA INDA CART!!
Me: Honey, we have to put a bag on it first.
Hatchling: INDA CART!!!!!!
Me: Yes, we’ll PUT it in the cart, but FIRST we have to put a bag on it. See? It’s all wet.
Hatchling: All wet!
Me: Thank you. OK, now we need to go down this way for some cereal …
Hatchling: I WUV ceweal!
Me: I know you –
Hatchling: Oh, WOOK! BAWOONS!
Me: Boo, stay here! We’ll look at the balloons later! Honey … (grabs cereal, parks cart and Sprout in corner) Come on, Boo. You have to stay with me, remember? (Hatchling darts through flag display, I knock it over trying to reach her) Ack! (grabs Hatchling with one hand, picks up flags with the other) Now come on. We’ll look at the balloons when we’re all done. Let’s find the milk, OK?
Hatchling: What’s dat?
Me: That’s crackers.
Hatchling: Get some?
Me: Uh, yeah, I guess we do need some crackers.
Hatchling: What’s dat?
Me: That’s gouda. It’s a kind of cheese.
Hatchling: I WUV-A CHEESE! Get some?
Me: No, you don’t like that kind. Come on, here’s the milk. (grabs milk, tries to head back to registers)
Hatchling: What’s dat?
Me: Those are lightbulbs, honey. Come on, it’s time to go pay for our stuff.
Hatchling: What’s dat? What’s dat WIGHT DERE, Mama?
Me: (increasingly beleagured) I don’t … those are cookies, honey.
Hatchling: COOOOOKIES. (She says this exactly like Cookie Monster) Getta some coooooookies, Mama? Get some wight DERE? I WUV-A coooooookies.
Sprout: Ga gooo. Ggggoo.
Me: Fine. (grabs cookies, dumps in cart) Now let’s GO. Come on! (enticingly) Let’s go look at the balloons!!
Hatchling: (brightly) OK! (runs off in the direction of the balloons)
Bag Boy: Wow, she’s a real cutie. How old?
Me: (smiling, fatally turning attention away from the Hatchling) She’s three, and the little one is two months. (notices Hatchling completely entangled in various balloon strings) Honey … argh … (leaves cart and Sprout at register) come here, let’s get you untangled …
Hatchling: I stuck, Mama.
Me: No kidding. OK, now let’s go get our groc-
Hatchling: I NEEDA BAWOON!! MY BAWOON, MAMA!! (Grabs four graduation themed balloons tightly in fist.)
Me: Christ. Look, how about we get this one? Just ONE, ok? And put the rest back.
Hatchling: (brightly) OK! (Marches back to cart with her rainbow happy birthday balloon in hand.)
Grocery Clerk: (smirking) One balloon, then?
Me: (sheepishly) Yeah. Thanks.
Hatchling: OK, Mama! Time to go to car. Say bye-bye!
Sprout: geh-GA.
**********************
Final Score: Hatchling = Eleventy Billion, Me = Zero. Once the Sprout can play I am truly doomed.
Comments Off on Recap of our trip to the grocery store with the baby, aka the first time the Hatchling has been out of the cart the whole time
Posted in outings and trips, parenting highlights
Tagged 2 months, Three years
