Category Archives: random tidbits

As requested

Posted on January 28, 2008 | Comments Off on As requested

Rhinestone Toes!

It’s good, right? Now y’all excuse me as I go breathe into a paper bag for a few minutes, as I just saw an email from my advisor in my inbox.

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Posted in random tidbits

This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Posted on January 18, 2008 | Comments Off on This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

OK, look at the picture below and see which way the sexxxxy lady is spinning. Is she turning clockwise or counter-clockwise? According to this site, the way she’s turning depends on your brain dominance. If you’re right-brain dominant (like yours truly), you’ll tend to see her turning clockwise. All you left-brain dominant folks will tend to see her turning counter-clockwise. Ain’t that a kick in the head? When I first saw the picture I thought it was a hoax, and that there was no way it could be seen to turn different ways, but then I tried for a while to get it to turn the other way and IT DID. (Try looking at it peripherally for a while until it seems to have turned and then check it for yourself.) I dunno if the brain-dominance thing has anything to do with it, but it’s still fucking cool.

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Posted in quizzes and lists, random tidbits

White Trash Parent Hacks

Posted on January 10, 2008 | Comments Off on White Trash Parent Hacks

Here’s a little tip for you moms and dads out there. If you’ve just gone through the McDonald’s drive-through on your way back from running errands with a tired toddler who also has the runs, and the french fries are too hot to give them to said toddler, even though she’s saying “fwies, pwease!” as hard as she can, simply grab 2-3 of the hot little suckers, roll down the window and let them bask in the 20-degree Minnesota breezes until they’ve cooled down to the proper temperature. Works like a charm! Things you can worry about later include: 1) the crazy looks you’re getting from other drivers as you repeatedly thrust 2-3 fries out the top of your window, then pull them back inside the car; 2) the fact that your daughter knows the word “fwies” before she’s even two years old; 3) what those fries are going to do to her already fragile intestinal system.

Definitely not my most Martha Stewart moment.

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Posted in parenting highlights, random tidbits

Tagged

Paging Betty Friedan

Posted on January 7, 2008 | Comments Off on Paging Betty Friedan

This morning, I got up bright and early with the Hatchling, got us both dressed, brought us downstairs for breakfast, and then started getting ready for a morning playdate with J and M. This involved tidying up the house with the brand new vacuum I got for Christmas, after which I whipped up a quick coffee cake using my Grandmom’s recipe, and put on a pot of coffee. During the playdate, the moms socialized and caught up with one another while the two girls played with a toy kitchen and baby dolls.

Jesus. At what point, exactly, did I become a 50s housewife? Maybe I should put a roast in the oven and greet Mr. Squab at the door with his favorite cocktail when he comes home from a hard day at work. Except – GAH – he’s going to be late tonight, because he’s joining the BOWLING LEAGUE AT WORK. (That part is not even a joke.) Holy Christ. Before you know it I’ll be going slowly mad, popping tranquilizers and having a feminist conversion. Which I thought I had already DONE.

It’s not that I didn’t completely enjoy this morning. I did. And I looooooooooove my new vacuum. And it’s wonderful to be able to cook again on a regular basis. It’s just that sometimes I look around at my life and think, um, what happened? And are they going to revoke my membership in the pinko-feminist-leftie-academic club? BECAUSE I LIKE THAT CLUB. It has comfy chairs, a great library, and they mix the drinks nice and strong the way I like ’em. Please don’t kick me out. I’ll bake you some coffee cake!

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Posted in Questions, random tidbits

Embarrassing moments in heterosexuality

Posted on December 23, 2007 | Comments Off on Embarrassing moments in heterosexuality

Scene: a coffee shop with a large play area, where I’m having a playdate with lovely new friend J, who just happens to be a lesbian, and her 18-month-old daughter.

J (referring to her daughter’s gorgeous hair): Yeah, she didn’t get those curls from me!

Me (thinking): But [partner] has kind of curly hair, right?

J (looking quizzically at me): Uh … yeah, she does, but …

Me (actually slapping own forehead): Oh, my god. ACK. Sorry!

J (laughing): No big deal, we actually say stuff like that all the time.

Lawsy. At least the Hatchling wasn’t old enough to realize what a dork her Mamala is.

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Posted in random tidbits

Nerd Alert

Posted on December 4, 2007 | Comments Off on Nerd Alert

I actually have quite a few things to blog about this week – I got tagged for a book meme, there are some recipes to share, we just decorated for Xmas so I could post some photos – but I just spent about three hours completely reorganizing my address book on Gmail so it’s all up-to-date and collated and ordered by last name, so now it’s time for bed. The nerdiest part is that I found this to be an extremely satisfying way to spend an evening.

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Posted in random tidbits

Blah, blah, blah

Posted on November 27, 2007 | Comments Off on Blah, blah, blah

I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I just do not have anything blogworthy to say. Everything I can think of sounds so boring it puts ME to sleep, so I can only imagine the soporific effect it would have on my beloved readers. (You heard me: soporific. Just because I’m at home with a 19-month-old doesn’t mean I can’t use unnecessarily large words, dammit.) Random tidbits from the last few days:

– I just finished re-reading Jane Eyre. It’s still really good, in case you were wondering. Also, Jane and Mr. Rochester were a lot flirtier than I remembered. Like, holy badinage, Batman. (You heard me: badinage. Look it up!)

– Even though we had 8 people for Thanksgiving and a not-huge turkey we still have So. Many. Leftovers. Anyone have any good, easy recipes for quart bags full of dark meat and a metric ton of cornbread dressing?

– After going on a bit of a nap-strike last week, yesterday the Hatchling took two 2.5-hour-long naps. That’s FIVE HOURS I had to myself. Please don’t hurt me, other moms reading this.

– Whose idea was it for there to be merely a month between Thanksgiving and Christmas? Because I have a few choice words I would like to share with them. Words like, “Are you a fucking idiot?!?“

– Um, that is all. See? Booooooring.

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Posted in random tidbits

Quote of the Day

Posted on November 26, 2007 | Comments Off on Quote of the Day

Nine-year-old nephew, on getting ruthlessly laser-blasted as he makes his way through the new Simpsons video game:

“Dude. That does not bode well.”

Me: Did you just say ‘that does not bode well?’
Nephew: Yeah.
Me: Gimme five, dude.
Nephew (too cool for it, but complying): Why?
Me: Because I just don’t think many nine-year-olds would use that phrase.

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Posted in kidstuff, random tidbits

What I’m thinking about RIGHT NOW

Posted on November 12, 2007 | Comments Off on What I’m thinking about RIGHT NOW

Man, that post title sounds way more meaningful than this post is actually going to be.

1. Taking on this sweater as my winter knitting project. I’m the world’s laziest knitter, so this might be a stretch, but it’s sooooo cute.

2. This post from Jordan, because as the Hatchling grows ever more firmly into toddlerhood, I find that I have to remind myself constantly not to give in to her whining/tantrums just because it would be easier/faster/quieter/more peaceful to do so.

3. Christmas shopping. Because god DAMN, that is coming up quickly, plus like 1/2 my family members have birthdays around this time of year. Question for the ages: why is it that you’re always shortest of funds right when it’s time to do your largest set of giftie purchases? Or is that just me?

4. How Nickelodeon is teh stoopid. Because there’s this great show on Noggin right now, The Upside Down Show, created by two Aussie comedians, one of the few kids’ shows that doesn’t make you want to stab your eyes out while watching it, and plus it’s the Hatchling’s favorite show besides Sesame Street. And Nickelodeon ISN’T RENEWING IT. It’s (rightly) won awards and been critically lauded and all that stuff and they won’t cough up what I’m guessing are the fairly minimal bucks to make another season. Sucks.

5. I’m hungry. Time to go eat lunch. What are you thinking about RIGHT NOW?

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Posted in quizzes and lists, random tidbits

Mutton partying like lamb

Posted on November 6, 2007 | Comments Off on Mutton partying like lamb

The problem with carousing all day and night at your brother’s wedding, drinking more at a single sitting than you have in probably the previous 12 months combined, singing along at the top of your lungs with the reception band, and generally acting as though you’re 10-15 years younger than you actually are, is that – although it is totally, incredibly, voraciously fun – your system, being unused to such treatment, goes into shock, thereby rendering your normal immunities completely impotent.

Which is to say: I had a blast at the wedding but now I have a totally gross cold. Stupid human frailty.

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Posted in la famiglia, random tidbits, trials and tribulations