10 months old

Dearest Hatchling,
Yesterday, you turned 10 months old. It’s been a tough month health-wise, with a bad chest cold at the beginning of the month and a bout of what I can only call the Bolivian Death Flu at the end of the month. It’s no fun being sick, obviously, but you’re remarkably good natured about it, even while projectile vomiting and explosively pooping … AT THE SAME TIME. Oh, the laundry we’ve gone through. Thank goddess you have more clothes than Imelda Marcos has footwear, or we’d have been up shit creek without a onesie, if you know what I’m sayin’.

Just kickin back in the laundry B, yo

Illness aside, this has been a banner month for your personality, which is even more explosive than your diapers. (Ok, I’ll quit with the poo references.) The babbling! And the laughing! And the funny expressions and gestures! They are all multiplying exponentially. The kitty licking his paws or your daddy whipping a sleeper around his head or your cousin doing pratfalls in the living room – they all send you into paroxysms of shrieking laughter. Or, even more funny, you’ll just let out a little chuckle, a Beavis and Butthead-esque “heh heh heh” which I’m sure is just a little preview of the many, many occasions we’ll share a juvenile laugh at something only we and frat boys would find funny.

Cousin love

You’ve developed some fairly awesome new movements this month. The flapping motion that you’ve been doing for a while now has a new twist where you let your wrists go limp as you move your arms up and down. You look like a gay, gay, gay person or possibly a backup dancer for Michael Jackson’s Thriller video, and frankly I’m thrilled either way. Gay zombies rock. Your other signature move is to shake your head vehemently from side to side. Sometimes you do this just to be funny, but sometimes you really do seem to use it to mean “no” or perhaps more accurately “HELL, no” as in “Woman, do not MAKE me get out of this highchair and show you where you can stuff that spoonful of strawberry yogurt. Uhn-UH.”

Dood! Check out the fright wig!

You’re still not crawling; when you’re horizontal you prefer to roll. BUT, and this is extremely exciting for us parental units, you’re starting to stand all by yourself!! You can only do it for a few seconds at a time so far, but you’re pretty solid for those few seconds. Your favorite place to play right now is standing at the coffee table, holding on with one hand and using the other one to grab whatever’s in reach. When you get hold of something really interesting, you grab it with both hands and voila! Standing all on your own! You hardly even notice it, but your dad and grandparents and I all think it’s pretty damn neat. I’m guessing it won’t be long now before you take those legendary first steps, and then whoa, Nellie. And Katy, bar the door. And oh, my stars and garters, we better safen our fasty-belts, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. The Walking: I’m not sure I’m ready for it, but you sure seem to be.

Mmmm, baby sugar

Naked time is still one of the best times of the day. All we have to do is start zipping your socks off and you start squealing and wriggling in anticipation. Over the last few days a new dimension has been added as you’ve begun to discover your pooter. Boy, are you interested in THAT part of your anatomy. Whenever we change your diaper you’re grabbing the lotion bottle and sticking it between your legs, or reaching a hand down to grab a little pinch of what I fondly refer to as your Wu-Tang Clan. Tonight, during naked time, you used your father as a prop to get right into a full downward dog position with your hands around your ankles in an effort to see what exactly was going ON up there. Ah, vaginas. Let’s hope this is the beginning of a long, fruitful and satisfying relationship with your lady parts.

So much yummy chub

Let’s see: vomiting, pooping, babbling, shaking and wriggling, standing, nakedness and cooch-grabbing. Yep, that’s month ten! It’s a roller coaster ride with you, kid. A really fucking adorable roller coaster ride.


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