Tag Archives: Oscars

Academy Awards liveblogging

Hey out there! Long time no blog! I’ll do a real post later, but tonight is the academy awards and so I must liveblog. Or actually it will probably semi-live-blogging since I’ll probably have to pause the ceremony while Chad puts the girls to bed. MY LIFE IS HARD. Anyway, keep checking back in throughout the night for my HILARIOUS or possibly just insane observations.


  • First observation: Good god, Jennifer Lawrence is taller than Kristin Chenoweth. I realize that everyone is taller than Kristin Chenoweth, but seeing J-Law and Chenoweth together made it look like one of them was a special effect.  It’s cool, though, because I kind of want to put Chenoweth in my pocket, and I want to be BFFs with Jennifer Lawrence.
  • I’m actually not finding the red-carpet convo as annoying as usual. Like, some of the questions are only slightly idiotic. And they’re actually letting the actors talk about things other than their outfits. J’approve!
  • OK, could Bradley Cooper’s mom be any cuter? SO CUTE.
  • Is anyone else over Nicole Kidman? Anyone?
  • LOVE Charlize Theron’s hair. I want that cut.
  • Just one of the many ways in which Hugh Jackman is awesome is his lovely relationship with his amazing wife. I heart them.
  • Jennifer Anniston: big points for not wearing black or nude dress – love that color red – but could you EVER do something different with your hair? It’s the Oscars! Go with an up-do!
  • Um, I *think* Halle Berry was going for “Old Hollywood” as in Joan Crawford, but if you ask me, that dress is more “Dynasty” as in Joan Collins. NOT GOOD.
  • Mmmm … George Clooney with a beard … drool … Continue reading

I Write Letters

woman-writing-letters-by-charles-dana-gibson Dear January,

Nice try with the rain and all, but I still hate you. Next time try some free first-class tickets to Belize.




Dear Idiots Out on the Lake Calhoun Ice,

Are you OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MINDS? It rained all last night. It’s still above freezing today. There are large swaths of melty patches all around the lake surface. You really think it’s a good idea to hang out on the ice with your shitty collapsible chair and nothing but a bargain-bin parka to protect your ass? Really?! Well, don’t come bitching to me when you fall in and die of hypothermia. IT’S NO MORE THAN YOU DESERVE.

OK I don’t really want you to die but COME ON,



Dear Brain Chemicals,

AGAIN with the seasonally affected depression? Can we not move past this phase? I mean, winter blues are so early millennium. Plus, it’s hard to get anything done from a recumbent and/or fetal position on the sofa. Start a new trend.




Dear Oscar voters,

You guys, I haven’t even SEEN Argo yet and I know Ben Affleck was robbed. Ditto Kathyrn Bigelow, you misogynist douchebags. Nice job on Silver Linings Playbook, tho.

Now send me some best picture screeners, dammit,