Monthly Archives: June 2007

Eight Random Facts About Me

Posted on June 27, 2007 | Comments Off on Eight Random Facts About Me

I got tagged, yo. Here’re your random facts:

1. I am 1/16th Cherokee. (On my father’s side.)

2. I’m directly descended from Martin Luther’s sister. (On my mother’s side.) Yeah, THAT Martin Luther.

3. In grad school, I tended bar at a small party attended by Marcel Marceau, and at the end of the night he called me a “lovely girl” and kissed me on both cheeks. (Funny tidbit: Marcel Marceau could talk the hind leg off a donkey. I mean, he is a TALKER. Perhaps a side effect of his chosen profession?)

4. I think cilantro tastes like rancid soap. This has ruined many a meal for me at Mexican restaurants.

5. When I was five, my godfather bought me a recording of the opera Hänsel und Gretel for a birthday present. It was one of my favorite records growing up.

6. I have never been able to make it all the way through Citizen Kane without falling asleep. Maybe this is because I only try to watch it at one in the morning after going out drinking and/or toking up with friends.

7. There are currently eight large bookcases in my house, filled to capacity with my books, and I have about 6 more boxes of books that I haven’t even unpacked yet. I do not consider this to be a problem.
8. I have a thing about frogs. I dig them, and they’ve kind of become my totem animal. It started with Kermit, and expanded to all things froggy. My collection includes frog mugs, knickknacks, bookends, stuffed animals, candle holders, soap dispensers, earrings, pajamas, pens, and even the Chinese symbol for frog tattooed on my ankle.

OK, now for my tag-ees: Questionable, Christopher, Shan, ShabbyDoll, Matt, Ali, Clarence, Sriracha. Go check ’em out!

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Posted in quizzes and lists, random tidbits

Daily Index

Posted on June 26, 2007 | Comments Off on Daily Index

Number of explosive, no really, I mean EXPLOSIVE, diapers changed today: 3.

Diapers changed, total: 6.

Close calls with toddler climbing up, behind, or around various parts of the house: 4.

Cheddar-flavored Sesame Street character-imprinted crackers strewn about the carpet: approx. twelvety billion.

Requests by two toddlers to be held/snuggled/paid attention to: constant.

At the same time: ditto.

Final Score: toddlers – 1,000,000; Squab – 0.

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Posted in quizzes and lists, updates

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Foolish Parental Bragging Post

Posted on June 22, 2007 | Comments Off on Foolish Parental Bragging Post

As a rule, I try to avoid posts along the lines of “my kid is such a GENIUS” because, a) they’re flipping annoying, and b) they’re oh so rarely true. I adore the Hatchling, but her talents and skills, precious though they are to my eyes, are really about the same as any other toddler her age. This I know. This is good.

Now having said that, OMG I have to tell you what she just did this morning. She’s wandering around the living room, checking out her favorite spots and toys, and she comes over for a brief snuggle. I notice that her diaper is sagging off her butt in a manner that indicates it’s reached its capacity for fluid absorption. I give the Hatchling a squeeze and say, “Should we change your diaper, honey? It looks like it’s about time.” And before I can make any moves in that direction, the Hatchling matter-of-factly toddles over to the coffee table, pulls out the basket where we keep her changing supplies, reaches in for the changing pad, and hands it to me.

FOURTEEN MONTHS OLD, YO.

Ooooooh, what a smart baby.

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Posted in How to Charm Me, milestones

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Things I find moderately-to-seriously freaky

Posted on June 19, 2007 | Comments Off on Things I find moderately-to-seriously freaky

Driving home behind a newish car the rear window of which is filled with scattered, realistic looking, baby doll limbs. Just limbs. No heads or bodies. Just, like, 30 molded rubber flesh-toned baby arms and legs rolling around in this dude’s rear window.

Who does that?

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Posted in random tidbits

The difference between one and two

Posted on June 18, 2007 | Comments Off on The difference between one and two

How one toddler indicates she is ready for her afternoon nap:

Toddler: Man, I am tired. My eyes feel kind of itchy. I better rub them. Also, I hate all these toys. I will push them away from me, they are so stupid. God, I feel like crap. Maybe if I bury my head in Mama’s lap and whimper she can fix it.

Mama: OK, someone’s ready for naps. Should we fix you a bottle? Let’s go.

Bottle is made. Nap ensues. All is well.

How two toddlers indicate that they are ready for their afternoon naps:

Toddler 1: Man, I am tired. I can’t even take these toys anymore. I’m just going to sit here and cry until I feel better.

Toddler 2: OK, I was already getting sort of sleepy, and that other kid’s racket is NOT helping. She was fine when we were playing and stuff but now she’s just getting on my last nerve. I’m going to start crying, too, and see if that helps.

Toddler 1: Dude, if YOU start crying that just makes me want to cry harder! This is not helping! I need some cuddles!

Mama: OK, honey, let’s pick you up. You’re OK, you’re just tired. You’re OK.

Toddler 2: What the hell? Now she’s crying louder! That makes ME cry louder! And Harder! MAMAAAA!

Mama: Oh, my goodness, two sad girls! Come on, one on one side and one on the other, let’s rock a little bit. You’re OK, it’s OK, calm down, calm down …

Toddler 1: All this noise is seriously freaking me out! Make it stop!

Toddler 2: OMG I cannot take this! I have snot all over my face and I think I might throw up I’m crying so hard! Make it stop!!

Mama: OK, let’s try this: here, Toddler 1, you have your nuk. (Crying of Toddler 1 instantly stops.) Toddler 2, let’s go make a bottle. Everyone is going to be OK. (Toddler 2 slowly calms down.)

Bottle is made, Toddler 2 goes down. Toddler 1 is rocked until her eyes close and then she is put down. Naps ensue. All is well.

So, you know. Just a SLIGHT difference.

(But really, we’re having a blast. This was just a minor eruption.)

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Posted in sleep, updates

Double Whammy

Posted on June 18, 2007 | Comments Off on Double Whammy

For the next two weeks, starting tomorrow, the Hatchling and I will have some extra company from noon to 6 pm. Our friend Fi, who is five weeks younger than the Hatchling, will be spending afternoons with us while her mom teaches a class. Mostly, I am excited about this: the two girls love spending time together, Fi could not be a more mellow, sweet, happy baby, and it will be good for the Hatchling to spend more time with another kid. Between playing, snacks, and naps I’m guessing the afternoons will go by pretty fast. So, yeah, like, 95% excited. Of course, there is that 5% of me that’s a little nervous that the toddlers will join forces against me, holding the cats hostage until I agree to their no-nap demands, ransacking the bottom three feet of the house as I follow in their wake, fruitlessly trying to bribe them with teddy grahams and goldfish crackers.

But I’m sure that won’t happen.

But you can still send positive toddler-wrangling vibes in my direction.

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Posted in updates

Summertime

Posted on June 13, 2007 | Comments Off on Summertime

This past weekend we got a last-minute invite to spend some time at a fabulous cabin on a beautiful lake with some wonderful friends and their two adorable children. Needless to say, we jumped at the chance. The weather was absolutely perfect all weekend long, and it was the most relaxing “vacation” we’ve had since the Hatchling arrived. I think it was being with another couple with small kids that made it less stressful, oddly. I love my family to death, but we’re the only ones with a baby right now, and, you know: babies can be sort of a pain in the ass. Especially if they’re not yours. They have different schedules than most adults, and they need attention all the time, and you have to make all these adjustments when you’re around them. This always makes me feel a little stressed when we travel places; I devote a lot of energy – far more than necessary, I know – to being as little trouble for the people we’re with as possible. But this weekend was different. With two other small kids in addition to the Hatchling, all the adults were used to making accommodations for the little ones. It was like we were all on the same rhythm, instead of having to adjust ourselves to the non-baby-having rhythm (or make the non-baby-havers adjust to us). Silly, I know, but I was surprised at how much of a difference it made in my enjoyment of the weekend. The excellent company, glorious weather and healthy servings of booze didn’t hurt, either.

And the Hatchling, of course, had the time of her life. There was a tea party,

Tea party

beach lounging,

Sittin' in the water, playin with the houseboat

piano playing,

Discussing a difficult passage

and much exploring.

Bathing Beauty

It was a nice way to kick off the summer.

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Posted in good times, updates

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Whaddya call a half-decade?

Posted on June 8, 2007 | Comments Off on Whaddya call a half-decade?

Whatever the term is, that’s officially how long Mr. Squab and I have been married, as of today. Five years of wedded bliss. Well, with the occasional snark added in for seasoning. When we first got married, we were too broke for a honeymoon trip, and we talked about doing one for a 5th year anniversary present. But then we decided to have a kid instead.

On the whole, I prefer the kid. 🙂

Happy anniversary, honey. I sure am glad you married me.

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Posted in la famiglia

See, honey, THIS is why we should get a dog!

Posted on June 7, 2007 | Comments Off on See, honey, THIS is why we should get a dog!

You know what’s a good thing to do when you’re feeling cranky? Go onto YouTube and do a search for “laughing babies,” that’s what. Watch a couple of those videos and your spirits will lift right up. (This one was sent to me by Michelle, though. Thanks, babe!)

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Posted in Funny Stuff, linkage

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Baaaaaaaaack

Posted on June 5, 2007 | Comments Off on Baaaaaaaaack

You know how sometimes you go on vacation and even though travel can be stressful it’s kind of nice to get away from things and then you get back and the house isn’t clean and the cat has puked on the sofa and you know you have a ton of emails to get to and there are probably bills in the post and you’re exhausted from the plane ride and you kind of wish you could break a limb so you could have an excuse for not dealing with it all or maybe just go back on vacation?

Yeah. That’s kind of where I’ve been since we got back.

The trip was mostly excellent. The Hatchling charmed the pants off of all her southern relatives (it’s hot there! they don’t need pants!), my accent came back in record time, we ate fabulous barbecue, seafood (mmm … fried catfish), southern breakfasts (grits!) and I brought home two bags of gen-you-wine boiled peanuts. (Most Yankees think this is the weirdest snack ever invented, but those of us blessed with Georgian heritage know that it is teh awesome, especially when consumed hot out of the boiler and chased with an ice cold coke.) We took a day to visit St. Simon’s island and showed the Hatchling the Atlantic ocean for the first time. (She thought it was pretty cool.) It was really good to see my grandmother, aunt and assorted cousins, and the weather was gorgeous.

The plane trips to and fro, however, were another story. We’ve flown with the Hatchling before: once when she was 3 months old and once at 5 months old. Both of those trips, while not exactly relaxing, were pretty successful. The Hatchling slept or nursed through most of the ride and she was still small enough to fit in a sling. This time, not so much. As a strapping 13 month old, the Hatchling is no longer at all interested in staying within the confines of her parents’ laps for the duration of a 2 hour plane ride. Also, did I mention the “strapping” part? It’s one thing to share your seat with a little bitty baby, but it is something else entirely to share it with a squirmy, always active, 97th-percentile-for-height-and-weight TODDLER. There was simply not enough room for the both of us. God help us, I think the next flight we take (in July) we’re going to have to shell out for a third seat.

And then there was the puking. Seems that the Hatchling is prone to a little airsickness. Or, well – it was a “little” on the way out, and more like “ohmigod I think she just barfed up more than her own body weight” on the way back. As the primary holder of the baby, I was the recipient of most of the ralphing, but poor Mr. Squab was stuck trying to clean us up while apologizing profusely to the woman who was unfortunate enough to be seated next to us. Not the way you really want to end a vacation. Especially when you add on the barfing in the car on the way home and the almost once-a-day barfing at home for the next four days.* Mostly on me.

So, to sum up: being back in the southeast – fabulous. Getting there and back – brain-searingly awful. Recovery from the trip – still in progress. Photos will be posted soon. Hope you all had a delightful Memorial Day weekend.

*Obviously, the way home was more than just airsickness.

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Posted in la famiglia

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