Monthly Archives: April 2007

Two weeks of turning one: a photo narrative

As befits the only granddaughter and the youngest member of a very large family, the Hatchling had quite an extended series of first birthday celebrations. It started with a little family fete at home on the night of her birthday. We opened a few presents, and more importantly, ate cupcakes for the very first time:

SUGAR!!!

You’d think we’d have stopped there …

Have you ever been hexed by a baby? Because this is what it looks like.

But no. Some friends stopped by with more presents, including tissue paper! Which is our favorite snack!!

And by "play with" I mean "eat"

And then that weekend, there was a bigger party at Gramma and Grampa’s house, with MORE presents, and MORE ribbons:

Presents are nice
Ribbons!!

The Mamala made some yummy lemon cupcakes,

Homemade Lemon Cupcakes

but initially we were extremely uninterested.

Nooooo. No cupcake!

Pretty soon we came around, though, and decided they were pretty yummy.

Yep, that's pretty good, too!

And THEN, to top it off, we had yet ANOTHER party, this time with lots of other kids around the same age (and their parents):

Rin and Fiona
Heather, Kai, and Lula
Quinn gets a bite of cake from Daddy

So: we are now One, with a vengeance. And Mamala is looking forward to some time not spent planning for parties. Whew.

24 Hours

I’m totally doing this, and you should, too.

That Than Which There Can be Nothing Cuter

Unlike some other prodigy babies, the Hatchling didn’t figure out how to clap until last Friday, when she somehow learned it literally overnight. Thursday, nothing doing; Friday morning, I got her up and brought her into bed with us and when Mr. Squab got up to get dressed, she started clapping and laughing like she’d been doing it her whole life. Now she does it every morning, and I’ll tell you: if you’ve got to get up at what I once considered the ungodly hour of 7:00 am, there’s no better way to do it than with a small person who is so delighted to see you, so delighted to start the day in your company, that she just can’t help but clap and laugh out loud.

The Titanic Toddler

As in “like a Titan,” not as in “sinking ship.”

The Hatchling had her 12 month check-up today, and as usual, she’s off the charts, yo:

Noggin: 46.5 cm around (90th percentile)
Height: 31.5 inches (>97th percentile)
Weight: 26 lbs, 10 oz (>97th percentile)

So … yeah. Now I understand why my back hurts all the damn time. TWENTY SIX FREAKING POUNDS is why. The doctor pronounced her “gorgeous” “a real tow head” and “the picture of health.” Which indeed she is.

Twelve Months Old

Dearest Hatchling,

Today, you are ONE YEAR OLD. Jumping Jehosaphat. I can’t believe it’s only been a year. I can’t believe it’s already been a year. I remember this time last year like it was only weeks ago: getting pitocin to induce labor, the doctor using that weird crochet hooky thing to break my water (I actually thought that was pretty cool), barfing from the labor pains (not so cool) getting the epidural (extremely awesome, so much so that I think I asked the anaesthetist to marry me), and then pushing and pushing and coming soooo close to getting you out. And then your head got stuck and wouldn’t budge, and after three hours of pushing it started to swell, and we had to have a c-section after all. And that was really just NO FUN AT ALL. They don’t tell you in birthing class about the deep, to-the-bone chill you get from the anaesthesia, how your teeth can’t stop chattering because you’re so, so cold; or the nausea and attendant ralphing that happens when they’re wrestling with your intestines to get to the baby inside. Not that it mattered, because pretty soon there your little head was, popping right out of me and talking up a storm right from the moment you hit the air. (“It was like a scene from Alien,” says Mr. Squab.) And then they pulled the rest of you out of me and I didn’t have my glasses on so I couldn’t really see you and everyone was telling your father to tell me what flavor you were, only he was kind of delirious and couldn’t really tell so it came out kind of like “it’s a … girl?” And I was really surprised, more so than I’d thought I would be, but SO excited, because there you were, our own sweet baby girl, and now we could really get to know you.

Baby Doll

You were pretty damn cute right from the beginning, I must say. Which was a good thing for all concerned, because while you were a model child in the hospital, once you got home we had some trouble in the eating department. My milk just didn’t come in the way it should have, and your tongue was tied, and oh! It was a struggle for both of us. I remember numerous times trying to nurse you before going downstairs to show you off to some of your many admirers, and crying and crying to your father that I just couldn’t DO it, it just wasn’t working, and why was it so hard? And then trying to compose myself and put my hostess face on and tell the guests about how wonderful it was to have you home. Stupid social conventions. Daddy was a big help, though, even while he was having a small freak out at the fact that he was a father now. Which, let’s face it, is a pretty big deal.

Sleeping on tired Daddy

We figured the eating stuff out eventually, though. Just in time, in fact, because around about 6 weeks you decided to hell with being out of the womb, this whole external world thing sucked, and could we please just go back to how things were? Which you expressed by crying. All. The. Time. I look back at posts from that period and think, yeah … maybe one kid is all I need. Frankly, it was rough going for a while there, and if putting you back in for the “fourth trimester” had been a viable option, believe me, we would have strongly considered it. No sleep, no idea how to GET sleep. A general sense of not knowing what the hell we were doing – and your daddy and I aren’t generally used to that feeling. Nor do we really enjoy it. In fact, it pretty much blows. So like I said, it’s a good thing you were so damn cute.

Sleeping Angel

However. I can’t really complain too much, because while the first three months were less than blissful, and you didn’t sleep so much until about 5 months, you’ve always known how to balance out the bad stuff with a killer smile or a sweet coo, and your father and I have spent the last 7 months being amazed at how lucky we are to have such a good baby. It’s not just that you’re good natured, though you are that. It’s that you have such a large capacity for enjoyment. You’re one of the smiliest babies I know – people remark on it all the time – and you really just get a huge kick out of most things, be it new activities, new foods, new people, or a cool new seat.

Bumbo!
Daddy is funny

Looking back, I can’t believe how much we’ve done with you even at at tender age. Two cross-country plane trips. One new country (Canada, but still). Two family weddings. Gadzoodles of road trips, from 90 minutes to 5 hours at a pop. As someone who prefers to avoid fuss and bother whenever humanly possible, these are things I’m kind of surprised I had the mental energy for. But we did it, and you came up trumps every time.

Ellie-bird 2

One of the best things about having you around has been the opportunity to watch your personality develop day by day. I can remember in the first months talking with a friend who had also just had a baby, about how sometimes we worried that we might not recognize our own kids right away in a group. Much as we loved you, nigh unto worship, it nevertheless remains that teetiny babies are much alike in their adorable lumpitude. But lord, that didn’t last long! You’re most definitely a little person now. There’s no mistaking you for anyone but your very own self: sweet-natured, strongly opinionated, probably foul-mouthed and with a notable penchant for cheesy poofs and kitties (to eat and play with, respectively).

Teethy
Camera! Gimme!

Even the normal baby milestones you have to hit in your own way. Teeth? Sure! How about we start cutting them insanely early and then keep going until we have a whole mouthful? Crawling? No, thanks. You preferred to stand at about three months, unassisted at 9 months, and walking (hopefully) any day now. Talking? Actual “words” are so limiting; you disdain them. Far more fun (and practically as communicative) to babble all the livelong day in your own unique Hatchling babycabulary. I imagine at some point in the near future – but not before you’re good and ready – you’ll suddenly start spouting entire sentences out of thin air. Just because you’re contrary like that.

Just kickin back in the laundry B, yo

Milestones this month: no more third nap! You’re down to a mere 11-12 hours a night plus two 90-120 minute naps each day. No one can say you’re sleep deprived. You’re about *this* close to walking, which isn’t close enough to take any solo steps, but is close enough to make you royally pissed off that you can’t get where you want to go on your own. You’ll see something you want across the room, cruise along the coffee table until you get to the end, wave one or both arms and cautiously lean in the direction of the desired object, realize you can’t get to it without help, and then whammo! Insta-tantrum. It’s like living with a small, grumpy, non-verbal maharajah: all we can do is salaam and distract you with something shiny. Fortunately, that’s not too difficult to do.

Ta-daaaaaa!

Favorite things this month: Going to the park and swinging, eating fresh strawberries or extra-garlicky hummus, reading Ohmyohmyoh Dinosaurs, playing your new piano toy, and flirting shamelessly with family and friends. Least favorite things: Getting dressed, having your teeth brushed, being in someone’s lap when you want to GET DOWN, being on the floor when you want to be IN SOMEONE’S LAP, and sleeping in strange places. Your quietest times are in the mornings and evenings, when you like to snuggle with us on the sofa as we read to you or watch the news. Your loudest times are when you’re in the bath, where you excel at completely drenching whoever is bathing you. You’ve got the best smile and the most infectious laugh of any person I know, and snorgling your tummy is such a mood lifter it should probably be illegal. All of which is to say: we’re most pleased to have made your acquaintance. Happy First Birthday, little girl, and many happy returns.

Ellie_1year25

Love,
Mamala

The Landlord

OK, I know some people consider it bad taste to make kids say naughty stuff and then film it. If you’re one of those people, you won’t like this video. But for the rest of you: Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, and McKay’s daughter made a pretty hilarious short called “the Landlord” and if you’re up for a chuckle, check it out. The audio is NSFW, so use earphones if you’re not at home. Fun-nee stuff, though I do wonder if that kid is going to remember any of those phrases and come out with them at grandma’s house or some other inopportune moment. Heh.

Updated: couldn’t get the video to stop auto-starting every time the page loaded, which was getting annoying. So you can (and should!) go check it out here.

33 Dead

My maternal grandparents lived in Blacksburg, VA, as did my great grandmother. We used to go there three or four times a year.

I hate that I will now associate that town with this insane shooting.

Times like these, I wish I believed in a specifically designated higher power. But my thoughts and prayers go out to that campus, nonetheless.

(x-posted at After School Snack.)

Thinking Blogger Awards!

Aw, shucks. Christopher gave me a Thinking Blogger award! I can’t imagine what my ramblings here would make anyone think, aside from maybe “this bitch is CRAZY,” but I guess that just goes to show you. Now that I’ve been tagged, I get to extend the award in turn to 5 blogs that “make me think.” Now, you’ve seen all the blogs on my blogroll, right? How am I supposed to pick just five? In the interests of spreading the love, I’m going to give my awards to blogs that are at least slightly off the beaten path (so, no Bitch or IBTP, though they make me think bunches). These are all blogs I check daily, and recommend highly. Here goes nothing!

1. Snickollet. She’s at the top of my mind right now, because she just lost her dear husband to cancer, and could also win the award for “person I don’t actually know who has made me cry the most.” Her posts are insightful, funny, honest, and sometimes tired and angry, and always worth a read.

2. Strict Time. Considers me her “blog mentor” (HA!) yet consistently outwrites me. I’d hate that, if she wasn’t so damn awesome all the time.

3. Sanctioning Agent. When I worked in corporate hell, any discussion of “branding” or other marketing speak just made me feel vaguely nauseated. Matt actually made me see what’s interesting about analyzing those topics, and his blog consistently – and humorously – calls out teh stupid in various campaigns.

4. My Skepsi. If you’d told me a year ago that one of my favorite blogs would be written by a self-declared christian living in a small town in Texas, I’d have said you were nuts. But what can I say? Her kid is damn cute, her posts are funny, and I steal widgets and code from her on a regular basis.

5. The Clutter Museum. Another parent blogger, Trillwing also blogs on feminism and academe, two of my favorite topics. Also, recently, strawberries, her rant on which is not to be missed.

Honorable Mentions (too “big” to be awarded): Ask Moxie and ParentHacks, two essential reads if you’re in the throes of parenthood.

Friday Extremely Cute Baby Blogging

This year’s Christmas photos notwithstanding, I don’t normally go for the standard posey-posey, fake backgroundy pictures. Our wedding photographers were photojournalists, and while we did do some of the traditional poses, my favorite pictures by far were the unposed ones. Having been sucked into the Kiddie Kandids for holiday pix (and really, the name tells you all you need to know), Mr. Squab and I decided to splurge on more authentic photos to commemorate the Hatchling’s first birthday. Lucky for us, we happen to know an extremely talented photographer of littles, who is getting her business off the ground and you should all go hire her RIGHT NOW because OMG her pictures are amazing. We just got them back, and I cannot stop looking at them. Not only are they beautiful as pictures – the color, the composition, etc. – but they really capture who the Hatchling is; all her personality just glows out of each photo. Here’s just a little sample:

Ellie_1year02

Ellie_1year05

Ellie_1year22

Ellie_1year32

Ellie_1year36

Ellie_1year46

There. If that doesn’t make you feel all warm and gushy YOU ARE DEAD INSIDE.

Mini-reviews

And now it’s time for …. HUMP DAY MOVIE REVIEWS! Recently viewed by the squab and spouse:

300 – Holy, holy, holy crap, this was a bad movie. And let me be clear: it’s not that I hate CGI, or movies based on graphic novels, or any of that stuff. I thought Sin City was amazing and the previews for 300 made it look pretty cool. Sadly, the cool factor began and ended with the preview. It’s not just that the story had about as much relation to the actual events between the Spartans and the Persians as peeps do to actual food. I could take that – hell, I expected it. It’s the total disregard for moviegoers of even minimal intelligence. I mean: wtf was up with the King of Sparta sporting a Scottish accent thicker than William Wallace? You couldn’t get an accent coach? And why was the ruler of Persia represented as an eight-foot-tall, flamboyantly effeminate, Brazilian drag queen? How does that forward the plot again? Oh, that’s right: there IS no plot. There’s just computer-enhanced fight scene after computer-enhanced fight scene, interspersed with the occasional computer-enhanced sex scene just for titillation. (Speaking of which, could the sex scene between Leonidas and Queen Gorgo have been ANY LONGER? All right, already. You’re virile. You give your wife massive orgasms. OKAY.) By the time they got to the completely unironic visual of Leonidas dying in full-on Jesus on the cross pose, any remaining disbelief I was suspending came crashing down around my ears. I’m pretty sure I was actually giggling out loud for the final third of the movie. (Mr. Squab was not amused.) Final Grade: F, for Fucking-A don’t see this movie.

Blades of Glory:
This one I was really looking forward to. I love me some Will Ferrell, and his movies are my kind of dumb-ass fun. And I’d say about 2/3 of the movie didn’t disappoint. I mean, Ferrell and Jon Heder are pretty damn hilarious on the ice, and Heder’s peacock routine alone is practically worth the price of admission. Plus, you get Amy Poehler and Will Arnett, who have to be two of the funniest people on the planet. But I’ll tell you what I didn’t like so much: the 1/3 of the movie where the one joke is how totally hilarious it is that TWO MEN would be skating together as if they were GAY or something! GAY!! Hahahaha! GAYZ ARE TEH FUNNIES. It’s homophobic, which is bad enough, but even worse: it’s just plain not funny. Like, boringly unfunny. (I had the same problem with Talledega Nights which I otherwise loved. The French jokes? Awesome. The gay ones? Dumb.) It’s too bad, and Ferrell is really past the point where you can kind of write it off as dumb frat boy instincts kicking in. When he’s on, he’s the funniest man alive except for possibly Steve Carell. So lose the stupid gay jokes, wouldja Will? You’re better than that. Aren’t you? Final Grade: B, for make it Better next time.