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This week’s pregnancy lesson

If you’re in the third trimester and vaguely resemble a beached whale in profile, it is perhaps not the wisest move to lie down on your back so you can zip up your recently washed jeans. This is true because:

a) What the fuck are you still trying to wear jeans for? You’re in the THIRD TRIMESTER. You should be wearing something stretchy that closely resembles pajamas at all times.

b) Even if you do manage to get the zipper up with this technique, you will then remain stranded on your bed, much like a tortoise on its back, flailing around from side to side in an effort to regain uprightness, for approximately five minutes. Your toddler will think this is funny. (“What doing, Mama? I try? You help-a me?”) You, however, will not.

Thus endeth the pregnancy lesson for the week.


Sorry for the light posting lately. I’ve been cowering at home, positive that my ultrasound today would show a permanently deformed or even non-existent fetus. But all is well. There’s a real live shrimp in there, with a tail and little arm and leg buds and a yolk sac that looks like a thought bubble over its enormous (proportionally) head. No molar pregnancy. No twins (THANK YOU, JESUS). Anxiety is momentarily abated. Also, I got a prescription for anti-nausea medication, and lovely friend L. sent me a super-duper fancy wrist accupressure band (seriously – who has nicer friends than that?), so I’m officially declaring war on the sick feeling.

In other news, the Hatchling counted to 17 yesterday, and has started – completely uncoached, mind you – saying “Soooooo niiiiiiiiiiice” whenever she sees her father take his shirt off.

All is well.

Welcome to my rollercoaster

I thought, when I was contemplating gestation the secomd time around, that it would be easier. You know, I’ve done it before, I have some idea of how my body responds to it, I know what to expect when I’m expecting, etc., etc. Surely, this time would be at least a LITTLE less fraught with anxiety.

Oh, what a fool I was.

Turns out, to the surprise, I’m sure, of exactly no one who knows me, that my ability to angst about something completely trumps any past experience with it. And pregnancy, which floods your brain with teh crazy ANYWAY, is, like, custom designed for me to worry about. Right now, for example, I’m convinced I’m having another molar pregnancy. (For you new readers, I had one of those before I had the Hatchling, which you can read about here.) My rationale for this belief? (Or “rationale?”) Simple, really: I had some spotting earlier this week (actually pretty normal in the 1st trimester), I’ve been INCREDIBLY nauseated (ditto), and the universe hates me (see: teh crazy). Now, because I’ve had a molar pregnancy in the past, I’m actually slated to get an ultrasound when I go in for my initial doctor’s visit on the 4th. I’ll be 7+ weeks at that point, so they can probably detect a heartbeat and they can certainly rule out a molar pregnancy. This is good, because the nausea plus the anxiety have pretty much made me a wreck this week. Just last night I had to cancel on a dinner date with some girlfriends that I was REALLY looking forward to, because I was at a point where even thinking about food made me want to hurl. Where’s the fun in that?

One thing that’s been handy is the archives of this blog. I was checking some of my earliest posts to see if I was really feeling sicker than last time, and of course I wasn’t – I’d just forgotten, in the way that you do forget things like how much pregnancy and labor SUCK ASS, because if you didn’t forget a little the human race would have died out sometime around the lifespan of Lucy. So it’s good that I catalogued it all for reference this time around; but I’m still going to be a lot happier once I can get those ultrasound results. Feh.

Ok, ok.

OK, here are the details, insofar as we even have any.

– We JUST found out. I had told Mr. Squab before I left for GA that I thought I might be pregs, but it was still a little early to take a test. Then, when I was down south, I mentioned to my stepmom that I was kind of thinking of getting a pregnancy test, and well: you just can’t SAY something like that to my stepmom if you don’t intend to follow through. So we got the test, and I took it, and it was positive, and I tried calling Mr. Squab but he wasn’t by the phone, so I took a picture of the results with my phone camera and sent it to his phone. (His initial reaction: “Oh, my GOD.”)

– I’m about 4-5 weeks along. Very early days; haven’t even had my first doctor’s appointment yet. Early enough that I’m still half-expecting to have started my period every time I go to the bathroom. (Gross, but true.) Early enough that a lot of people wouldn’t even be talking about it yet. But fuck it, I’m too tired to keep that big a secret from y’all for that long. If it doesn’t last, I’ll blog that too.

– If everything goes as planned, we’ll be welcoming baby 2.0 sometime in late March 2009.

– So far I’m just having a little nausea, but I expect that will ramp up this week to the full-blown, total food aversion I had last time, because my body is super fun like that. Expect much bitching to ensue.

– We haven’t completely settled on a pre-natal name yet, but in keeping with the grand tradition of “Hoss” (the Hatchling’s pre-natal name), we’re leaning towards “Bubba” this time around. It has that nice, slightly hick ring to it, no?

Friday Video Blogging

This here is some freaky cool shit. It’s kind of long, but personally I found it well worth the viewing.

Here’s the artist’s bio. More background here and here.

Saturday Video Blogging

What cooler way can there be of teaching kids the alphabet than making up extremely catchy songs about the different letters? These are two of the best, IMO.

Lonely Letter N

Capital I

Friday Video Blogging

Today’s edition: Man, were they ever doing some high-quality acid when they made these clips. One of the things that was so awesome about being a kid of the 70s was that there was still a fair amount of flower power at work among the creators of kids’ shows. A good trip on quality hallucinogenics can make for some prime children’s fare. Consider these clips my argument for mass legalization.

Updated to add: – how could I forget THIS one? Ducks with ears, roaring dandelions, daisies with feet – pure hallucination.

Daddy Dear

The Yo-Yo Master and the Lost Kid

Trippy, no? But you REMEMBER it, right? Yet another clip that freaks me out more now than it did when I was a kid. OK, here’s number two … return with me to the hidden mists of your childhood:

The Great Space Coaster

All the benefits of LSD without the inconvenient flashbacks. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Friday Video Blogging

How did it get to be Friday already? We just got back from a trip up north to visit Mr. Squab’s mother. Just a quick overnight visit – which was about all we could have managed, given that the Hatchling, she no sleepy so good. Which mean nobody sleepy so good. The culprit? Two-year molars. Because, you know, those are the only teeth she hasn’t already got. But I digest. You need your videos!! This week, we’re going moogalicious.

Striped Balls Meet Polka-Dotted Ball
Awesome moog soundtrack. Plus: how rad is it that you can totally teach a lesson about embracing difference with just BALLS?

Orange Sings Carmen
Moog + Bizet / Citrus = groovetastic. It took the Hatchling a little while to get into this one, but now she’s fascinated. As will you be.

Friday Video Blogging

It’s been a looooong week. The Hatchling got several shots last week at her 15 month checkup, and they warned us that she might have a reaction anywhere from a week to three weeks after the fact (I guess the delayed reaction time is common with the chicken pox vaccine). Sure enough, on Wednesday the Hatchling woke up at around 4 in the morning with a high temp, and was basically miserable all day Wednesday and Thursday. No appetite, no sleep no feel good. Add to that my having insomnia both nights, and we were a cranky, cranky household. But. Last night she slept like a dream, I slept like a kind of normal person, and everyone felt much better this morning. Plus, it’s the weekend! And it’s supposed to be nice weather! Calloo, callay!

So anyway. Here’s the Hatchling’s video recommendation of the week. I was so psyched to find this one again:

And here’s my recommendation. I effing LOVED this when I was watching Sesame Street, and it turns out I’m in good company, as it was apparently a big influence on The Bad Plus. Yeah, I’m cool:

Have a great weekend!


Sorry for the lack of postage. We’re on vacation in Canada with minimal internet access. Regular posts will resume on Monday.